Sefton RUFC

Sat 26 Nov 2022

Sefton 2nd XV

32 - 19

Wigan 2nd XV

Sefton 2nd XV

Wigan 2nd XV

After last weeks historic victory, I was raring to go, but Wigan left us waiting till Friday until they confirmed the game.

I was worried, that with a lot of my players being millennials they would have lost interest by then, and would have turned to something new before the game was confirmed. As it happened I needn’t have worried with a full squad available, and plenty of Subs.

JJ turns up with his towel under his arm and flip flops on, expecting his pre-match sauna. Unfortunately, the paperwork hasn't yet gone through, and the Director of Finance said we could throw water on the fire, and that is as good as you'll get. I think we should invite him on the Malta tour, he'll be gone within a year, and I will get you that sauna JJ.

I was keen to meet new player Richard Bradley, who has been using the group chat like his own personal diary. We know when he wakes, what time he goes to the gym, and what he's doing over the next two weeks. Turns out he’s another Bummie, we only just got rid of the last one! Maybe I’m being harsh on Richard, he's just very friendly, maybe they’re all like that in the Black Country. It would be like us northerners going down to London and inexcusably talking to someone on the underground. It just isn’t done.

Wigan turn up, but have just eleven players, so a few players volunteer to play for them. A keen McTeary, eager to test his skills against our scrum-half, Blandie. Also Ben Webster, and new player Chris Lewis, who has never played before, but was happy to jump in at the deep end. My sort of player.

- The game -

Lending them players didn’t quite work out for Sefton as they started at the usual slow pace, and within ten minutes Wigan had scored two tries. It is starting to become a worrying statistic, giving sides a two try start.

It didn’t get any better, because as Sefton were camped on Wigan’s five metre line, Jay Dempsey is driven off the ball and goes down screaming. JJ is there quickly asking if it was his good knee or his bad knee? Apparently it was his good knee, and the prognosis didn’t look good. This got me thinking, if he damages a knee again how will he identify which knee is injured, if they are now both bad knee’s? Will he categorise them as the old bad knee, and the new bad knee? Sometimes I can’t sleep at night.

Worst of all, with Dempsey off, I’m forced to bring Brian Gardner on, a prospect we’re both unhappy about, he’d only had ten minutes of doing nothing on the side line, and he’d planned on doing nothing for at least another sixty minutes.

Tail of two **** scrum-halves

The real battle was going on at scrum-half, with two Titans against each other.

On one side, you had Matt Bland, sitting at the back of his scum waiting for the perfect ball, and waiting, and waiting. Eventually he picks the ball up after the pack has held the scrum steady long enough for him to prepare himself, shuffles round so he can pass off his right hand, takes two steps away from the scrum, and sends the pass. By this time the opposition back line have lined JJ up at stand off and hit him before he even gets the ball via carrier pigeon.

Then there's McTeary, much faster than Blandie at getting the ball away from the scrum, but has no idea where it will go when he releases it. Luckily the Wigan stand-off was quite good, and was able to compensate for Chris’ lack of accuracy.

At last Sefton’ backs wake up, and actually do something. Using their extra man advantage they pass it wide, and Isaac Lancaster comes into the line from full back to score in the corner. sHambling doesn’t convert.

Wigan make the mistake of kicking the ball straight at Lawrence Gillen who had acres of space in front of him. Scooting round the outside to beat the defence out wide and go round under the posts. sHambling converts.

Sefton are soon back in Wigan's twenty-two, and when they got awarded a penalty it was kicked into the corner. The lineout was caught by Tom Founds and secured at the back by ‘two steps’ Pete Johnson, however ambition got the better of Pete, and he broke off too early taking at least four steps. Too far for Pete, and he was shepherded out off touch. Luckily Wigan infringed and Sefton had another go. The lineout was good again and this time Pete bided his time, waiting until he was only two steps away before releasing his bind, and going over in the corner. Conversion missed by sHambling.

In the second half McTeary decided he would stay with Wigan to torment Blandie some more. As did the other Sefton volunteers.

With Wigan having only one jumper in the line out, it was easy ball for Sefton, and they relied on some penalties to get themselves close to Wigans try line. At the lineout this time Steve Teale catches and presents it back, and a driving maul allows Tom Founds to go over for a try. sHamling misses the conversion.

Lack of concentration by Sefton and a huge gap in defence allows Wigan to run through, then put a clever kick through leaving Sefton scrambling back in defence to no avail as they are beaten to the ball and scored a converted try under the posts. On the way back for the restart it is Mark Dobie who scolded everyone for leaving a gap in the defence. I would have pointed out that he left the gap that they went through, but after last week's tantum I thought better of it.

With Sefton now only three points ahead, they were in need of a quick reply. The ball was shifted through the backs and again Isaac Lancaster was at the end of it to go round and under the post for his second try. Converted by sHambling.

With 20 minutes to go, on comes debutant Lewis Campbell to play his first game. Straight into the action, with a great catch, and run before being tackled, but able to present the ball perfectly.

- The pass that shall not be spoken of -

The back line were now finding lots of space with Wigan beginning to tire. The ball goes blind and Brian Gardiner is lurking on the wing with one defender to beat, so he passes to ■■■■■■■■ outside him. Now, Brian may say he presented the ball on a silver platter, with a cushion underneath it, and a big red bow tied around it. However, from another observers point of view his pass was widely of target, and flew like a rocket out of his hands. I suggest Brian never mentions it again, ever.

Another penalty in front of the posts is kicked over by sHambling to give Sefton a little leeway in the final minutes of the game.

Another win, which is a very strange feeling. A big thank you to those who played for the opposition, which made it a very competitive game.

Some great individual performances and many contenders for Man of the Match, including Tom Founds and Steve Teale in the lineouts, and open play. Lawrence Gillen also had another great performance, although he only scored one try this week. I think he may have to spend a spell in the third team to get his confidence back. Man of the Match went to Isaac Lancaster for his two tries, although there was a suspicion of jug evasion.

Someone who has too much confidence is sHambling, who comes up to me after the game chuffed as punch that he got all his kicks. I immediately correct him, pointing out he missed one to touch, and two conversions. You have to be stern with these kickers, or they never learn their place. We can’t have that sort of misguided confidence in the second team.

This was the last game for the seconds until after Christmas as next week's opponents sadly pulled out of the league. However the third team have got a game.

Thankfully, I can finally stop being nice to players, at least until after New Year when I will again have too stroke players egos.

I'm off now to wind Christian Caine up in a bar, maybe suggest a few things he could do to win a game. I'm sure he will welcome my input.

Lanky