Sefton RUFC

Pre-Match

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At the height of the ancient Roman Empire, it was suggested that Julius Ceasar actively promoted homose><uality within his Armys, to ensure a closeness within the ranks, and not be tied to any relationships away from army life.

Now I’m all up for some team bonding and all that, but the declarations of love on the 3s WhatsApp chat is going overboard.

New boys, Wayne and Joe, should really be looking at getting a room than bothering with rugby. I was cutting and pasting some of their stuff into an intimate chat with my missus!

I’m not sure what these outpourings had on Club Coach Jamie, but he felt the need to finally give JP his shorts back (maybe you can only make so much soup?).

 

 

The Numbers

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Really good effort from the boys today.

To have all 3 Sefton teams out, and for the 3s to have 3 substitutes, is rare.

Unfortunately, we were short a prop, and old Darrell was asked to step up.

We had a bit of pace in the backs, and thought we could take advantage of the fact that Port Sunlight had 15 forwards.

 

 

The Match

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As expected, it was a game of 2 halves.

Whoever was running downhill, had the run of the game.

Sefton did the hard work in the first half, and were still in the game, only 3 tries to 1 down at the break.

In the second half, the faster backs stood out, with glamour boy Wayne and the spritely Louie at fullback making some long penetrating runs.

 

  

The NFL Superbowl

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This week, there was a big who-haa over that American trash, the “Super Bowl”.

Who’d’ve thought there would have been any interest in that shambles? Steel helmuts, 10 inch shoulder pads, ad breaks?

Well, it does seem likely that a few of the 3rd teamers watched the Kansas City Chiefs beat the San Francisco 69ers.

(are you allowed to say that now? “Chiefs”?).

For today, we had a number of incidents that were quite embarrassing.

Incidents involving “scoring a touchdown”.

First, we have brand new boy, Callum. With his very first touch of the ball in his rugby career.

He dances around the heavy and slow Port Sunlight forwards, as well as the heavy and slow Port Sunlight backs, gets over the tryline, and throws the ball over the dead ball line!

Fair enough, you might say. The kid has just started.

Its not like we actually teach you how to score at training (you’re lucky to learn anything there).

Then, we had the novice, Chris Lewis, getting in on the act, scurrying a couple of metres into the corner post and throwing the ball over the line.

Amazingly, the ref allowed this ‘try’. But this may have something to do with a secret Prop Brotherhood that I’ve heard about. (The ref was a dash on the portly side).

Finally, we have Brendo.

Never to be outdone, he’s playing number 9 today.

Pressing the Port Sunlight line, Sefton have about 8 players out to the left of the ruck.

To Port Sunlight’s 2.

Brendo looks up from the ruck, takes the ball, throws a couple of dummies and orchestrates a 5 second diagonal shuffle to the line, before easily held up about 2 metres short.

In true petulant style, he throws the ball at the tryline (shouting, it was later confirmed, “I shall not be denied!”).

Amazingly, in a drawn game, neither of the 2 faulty touchdowns cost us the match.

No. That honour belonged to the ever reliable Blandie….

 

 

Blandie “I can’t kick, but I’m kicking”

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This is the type of game that Blandie relishes in.

There is no dominant figure, who will step up and do a proper job in the kicking department.

No Colon Pascoe, who is due a good one.

No Steve Kidd, who looks to be the imcumbent.

Blandie takes all the restarts. Today they all went 10 metres, but never in the intended direction.

As for the penalty kicks for touch, he showed consistency here, in his lack of direction.

At one stage, we had Brendo kicking for touch, in his unique style of putting his foot out and throwing the ball hard down upon it.

 

Blandie “I’m still kicking, and I still can’t kick”

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The game changer.

Louie has re-enacted his high school 100 metre hurdles race, leaving a perplexed 29 players behind him (and a ref that ‘didn’t see anything’) to score under the posts.

If we convert, we’ll be 7 points ahead.

The ball somehow floats into Blandie’s personal gravity (he has wintered well, did I mention?).

Conditions are perfect. No wind, firm ground, solid balls.

Blandie decides to drop kick the conversion.

The crowd goes silent.

The ball goes right angles.

The win has gone begging.

 

 

The Ref

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Clearly this guy has been working under the new RFU Directive, “All Friendlies must officially end in a Draw”, and is taking it to the letter.

The effort, extra time, new rulings, one sidedness, blind eyes and commitment he showed, in the last 10 minutes, to allow Port Sunlight to score their final try, to equal the scores 22-22, was a tribute to his good nature.

With Sefton’s “let them score out wide” ethic, it was a pretty safe bet that Port’s aging prop was not gunna knock over a winning conversion.

 

 

Prognosis

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I cannot fault the players today, for their effort and commitment.

Away games are never easy, and other teams normally llok forward to hosting us.

Today, under certain trying conditions, both teams played in a great spirit and, although it was even in the end, you could say that rugby was the winner.

Oh yeah, for those clinging on with interest in the 3’s budding romance…

Big Joe and Wayne played like tritons (or Roman Gladiators: Bigus Joe-ous and Wayne-eous).

 

 

Post Script: The 2s Ghost Game

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Apparently the 2s had a game today. At home.

Because the 1s and 3s were playing away, the 2s ‘game’ was not witnessed by anyone with any credibility.

When the 1s and 3s returned to the Clubhouse, there was a beaming Lanky, claiming a 2s 60-0 ‘win’.

There were no other people about, no 2s players celebrating their top of the league position, no satisfied spectators.

The main issue that is causing serious doubts on this alleged ‘match’, was the fact that Sean Muirhead scored 2 tries.

Up till hearing this, some of us believed Lanky.

Granted, Hamling may have organised a 2s team on his own today (well, they were at home).

Sure, the opposition could well have taken off straight after the ‘game’, not bothering to shower, or have a beer and a pie.

And maybe, just maybe, the 2s kit might not have gotten any dirt on it, given the one sidedness of the ‘contest’.

But Sean Muirhead scoring 2 tries?

Sorry, no one’s buying that. The 2’s opposition must’ve certainly cried off and there wasn’t really any ‘game’.

The inquest continues….

 

Yours etc

Campo x