Sefton RUFC

Sat 13 Jan 2024

Sefton 2nd XV

55 - 5

Wirral 3rd XV

Sefton 2nd XV

Wirral 3rd XV

It’s amazing what a home game does for availability. We’ve realised that the second team actually have two teams, an away team, and a home team. Not surprisingly, they had a strong home team out this week, despite the selection of Sean Muirhead.

In contrast to Wirral's team selection, Sefton looked young and sprightly, even with Wayne Osborne and JJ in the squad. Wirral’s front row consisted of a 60 year old, and the others weren’t far behind, with the only splattering of youth coming from their back three.

Again Matty Cunningplan was at the helm, looking after the team whilst sHambling was recovering from his nose job. It was good to see Matty, walking around with that dazed look on his face, constantly looking at his phone, wondering if everyone would turn up, adding new tears to the Sefton Wailing Wall. It brought a little bit of joy to my life.

Thankfully for Matty, he had everyone accounted for, and he could now concentrate on other priorities, like remembering to bring the balls this week.

- The Game -

It didn’t take long for Sefton to open their account and score there first points. A number of penalties to Sefton got them down in the opposition’s half, and Adam Hunter went blind to score in the corner.

Only minutes later, Tom Fletcher* shrugs of the first of many high tackles, and goes through. With a 2v1 against the full back, he passes to Adam Hunter who goes over for his second try, converted by Gorgeous.

*This is the new Tom Fletcher (looks like a battered cod), not to be confused with the old Tom Fletcher (looks like Ross from friends).

Now the backs show there quality, including a guest appearance from prop Jack Crone, who pops up in the line, like a natural centre. The ball eventually reaches Anthony Hawksford on the wing who is caught just short of the try line. The ball is quickly recycled, and Luke Griffiths crashes over from short distance.

Wirral have a bit of possession, but this is taken when Phil Ingham jackles the ball. Why I mention this simple action, is simply to explain that Phil is not a total pushover, and can secure the ball. All will come to light.

Wayne Osborne did a sumptuous kick through and gather, to go over, but the ref was unsighted, and presumed the old goat dropped it, disallowed the try, and dismissed his plea.

Despite Sefton‘s dominance, the opposition denied them any further points until the last minute of the half. A scrum to Wiirral was driven back over their line, and the reset gave Sefton the scrum. The ball goes out to the backs, and JJ runs a perfect line to crash over for a try. Gorgeous converts.

In the second half Sefton continue there dominance, with Wayne Osborne putting Matty Cunningplan through, who was lingering out on the wing. This was converted by Anthony Hawksford.

- Taking candy from a baby -

A Matty Williams break from Wirral’s twenty-two nearly earned him a try, but he was caught short of the line, however this set Sefton up with a scrum on the oppositions five metre line. An ideal chance for Phil Ingham to control the ball from eight at the back of a dominant pack. The drive was steady and Phil gratefully falls on it. Or so I thought. It was only later in the bar, that we find out that it was Luke Griffiths who grounded the ball, stealing the glory from Phil. Now you wouldn’t think the phrase ‘taking candy from a baby’ would be synonymous with Phil, he was a big baby, there was no way you could prise candy out of those chubby hands. Apparently he didn’t stop breast feeding till he was eighteen, unable to release the suction on his mums breasts, but when it comes to holding onto his odd shape ball, he is clearly very passive.

Meanwhile, Tom Fletcher was receiving adequate attention from Wirral, as another high tackle is directed his way. I think we may have discovered a new high tackle magnet to replace sHambling.

As the game progressed Wirral’s numbers drop, and with no replacements the field was littered with broken bodies. To make matters worse, one of there players is given a yellow card for an infringement, the ref was really making sure Sefton couldn’t lose. Did this bother captain Cunningplan, did he take players off to balance it out, maybe give them Tom Fletcher so Sefton could also take a swipe of his head too? No, Cunningplan would have non of it, going for all out victory, he had absolutely no scruples.

With plenty of space now, Isaac Lancaster was able to take the outside channel, and score in the corner.

- Stealing Candy Pt. 2 -

Anthony Hawksford had done very little so far, apart from winding most of the opposition up, and managed to gather a long queue of players wanting to introduce themselves. So it was a surprise when he suddenly came to life. A fantastic piece of ball control allowed Hawkford to kick the ball through to the try line. Unfortunately the hapless wingers final kick sent the ball ricocheting off the post, and fell nicely for Matty Williams, who gratefully falls on the ball. This was converted by a disgruntled Hawksford.

Another try for Isaac Lancaster finishes Sefton’s account, when he skims round the outside of the defensive line, and goes through under the posts for a try.

The Comeback

I can’t believe Sefton let them in, allowing the opposition to score against them. Wirral’s surge for a consolation try came late in the game. Their forwards found that extra motivation with some strong forward drives. Tom Fletcher and Gorgeous did well to hold one ball up over the line, but this only enthused Wirral to increase the tempo. Sefton gave away a number of penalties, which enabled Wirral to again attack the line, and eventually crash over for a well deserved try. Therefore, if we apply Law 13, Sefton lose, because everyone knows, last try wins.

A very entertaining game, and well done to Wirral for staying at it till the very end. The game registered three jug evaders, in the form of Adam Hunter, Luke Griffiths, and Isaac Lancaster, who all scored two tries, but suddenly stopped before getting to the hat-rick.

Man of the Match could have gone to several players, in particular Jack Crone who found himself on a few occasions as part of the back line, and instrumental in some of the tries. Isaac Lancaster, was rock solid at fullback, in defence, and attack, however, the work rate of Tom Fletcher was phenomenal, and he was also an ideal magnet to Wirral’s constant attention, which earned him the honours.

A shameful Phil Ingham was mocked in the clubhouse, mainly by his dad, who was clearly embarrassed and ashamed about his sons lack of ball possession. To make things worse, I think someone stole his pint. I think maybe young Phil may have gone to bed without bitsy that night.

With Phil's insistence of giving away his possession, I'm off now to see how easy it is to steal his identity, I will be suckling on that teat in no time.

Lanky