Sefton RUFC

Match Notes

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This match was meant to be our first game of the season, but Oswestry couldn’t make it so this, the reverse fixture, was played a as a double header, at ours.

Oswestry had not played a league match yet, so we weren’t really sure what to expect. They come from deepest, darkest north Wales, so perhaps they may know a thing or two about rugby.

Sefton did well to get good numbers. Good 3s players really.

On the main pitch, a composite Sefton 1s and 2s played a Liverpool Uni Student Team, in the hope of grooming them into the Sefton family. Kev Mainwaring was not allow on site.

With no 1s or 2s game today, the VEO Camera was set up, and the 3s were looking forward to their 80 minutes of fame.

  

  

The Game Plan

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Prior to the game, First Team Coach and well retired First Team 9, Jamie Luck cast his eye of the warming up Oswestrians.

“These guys are old, fat and unfit”, he extols, “after 20 minutes they’ll be knackered, then we’ll run riot”.

A few of our younger players nodded. It seemed a reasonably decent game plan.

Unfortunately, Sefton were also generally old, fat and unfit, so after 20 minutes, everyone was blowing out their arse.

  

It goes unsaid that the 3’s golden rule: “We don’t kick”, was brought to the new players attention, in no uncertain terms.

   

  

The Match

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Basically, it was a scrum fest.

Sefton tried to score from every phase, until they knocked on, or kicked.

We made it to 3 phases twice.

Oswestry were not much better, but had a 10 that could pass and direct play.

   

  

The Scrums: Hello Darkness My Old Friend

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I shudder to think what the scrum count was today. All I know is that there was about 1 every minute.

The video of the match shows that we played an elapsed 30 minutes in the first half and 40 in the second (with loads of time off).

I worked it out at about 50 scrums. Contested scrums. (Note to the Backs: that means hard work).

   

  

Big Mistake No 1

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As mentioned before, Oswestry had a number of big heavy forwards.

Sefton weren’t lightweight, but, when push came to shove, there was no real contest today.

Sefton got away with the first scrum, just, with number 8 JP picking up from hooker Campo’s feet. Oswestry perhaps may have thought to take it easy on the “out of their weight division” opposition.

The second scrum, was Oswestry’s feed.

Hooker Campo fancied himself with a quick strike to get one against the feed.

WRONG MOVE.

This set the tone for the rest of the match.

Campo managed to last about 5 more scrums, before crying off to the wing. Admittedly, he looked like one of them toy dog things with the wobbly heads that people put in the back of their car. Maybe they don’t make them now.

Anyway, he was heard muttering, “If I could naturally, or voluntarily, get into some of those positions in the scrum, I wouldn’t leave my bedroom”.

   

  

Big Mistake No 2

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Allowing Coach Jamie Luck to watch England in the Rugby World Cup.

The 2023 Rugby World Cup was punctuated with a new style of rugby, concentrating on field position, and hoping for a kickable penalty. To me, this translated to: kick at every opportunity, with the 9 specialising solely on the box kick. England won the in-play kicking stats hands down.

Not a World Cup to write home about.

But, for the Rugby mad Welshman, Jamie Luck, well past his prime, a Rugby World Cup style worth trying to emulate.

   

  

Big Mistake No 3

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Allowing Coach Jamie Luck to play today.

Theres a reason Jamie is Coaching now.

It’s because he’s hung up his boots, after someone in authority told him he can’t play rugby anymore.

I am not sure why they mentioned ‘anymore’.

Jamie was up for an “easy 3s game”, and looked to bully the raw Oswestrian Number 9 around the scrums.

But whenever Jamie got his hands on the ball, and, at 9, it was very often, he sought to emulate his idol, Owen Farrell.

(Owen is a Welsh name isn’t it?).

This meant that whenever Sefton got into a good position, which was usually after 2 phases, the ball was hoofed downfield, to a more than willing Oswestrian fullback, to return with interest.

   

  

Kicking

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(Have I mentioned kicking yet?)

Let’s just say that the Rugby World Cup has probably not been the best advertisement for rugby at it’s “Root Levels”.

It has been all well and good to watch Farrell and Ford execute their midfield kicks at every opportunity, but….

At the lowest level of the game, you don’t have a Stewart or a Tuiligi racing through to challenge the catch.

You have 14 gormless lads staring in bewilderment at the 9 who has just thrown it all away, scratching their heads, wondering about the 3s game plan (“we don’t kick”).

The 9, of course, pristine in his immaculate kit, remains undeterred.

All game Captain Campo repeated, “no more kicking Jamie, a kick is only as good as it’s chasers”.

 

Even the 10 got involved.

“My kick”, says Blandie, “was a thing of beauty”.

“We were in their half, and my kick went out near the corner post”.

“That’s right”, I agree, “but now they’ve got the ball, and we don’t have the ball”.

“But still”, insists Blandie, you gotta admit it was a good kick”.

 

Did we learn from our mistakes? In a word, No.

In the last minute of play, with Sefton in good field position and on a roll, the ball ends up in Jamie’s hands.

There is a deafening roar, Sefton to a man, shouting “Don’t kick”!

But there is one lone voice, I’m sure it was from the direction of the Oswesty side, that called, encouragingly in Welsh, “kick it”.

And that’s all it took.

The limp box kick slowly sailed into the gleeful Oswestrian hands, and the game was over.

 

   

Prognosis

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Today, we learnt the difference between rugby and soccer.

For some, watching the video of the game will cause acute embaressment. I don’t think Jamie Luck will be promoting this game on the club website. For me, I pissed myself, watching us all run round dropping the ball, wondering who the slow, fat gnome with the black headgear was (its funny isn’t it, the image you have of yourself doesn’t match with reality).

It was great to see some new blood, and some of our developing players get some decent match time.

But, a fair result really for the long travelling Oswestrians, it is just a shame we only play them once this season, they were a decent mix of English and Welshmen.