Sefton RUFC

Sat 13 Jan 2024

Birkenhead Park 3rd XV

43 - 7

Sefton 3rd XV

Birkenhead Park 3rd XV

Sefton 3rd XV

Pre-game
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We were all looking forward to the reverse fixture with Birkenhead Park.
How fondly we recalled the home game at Sefton, where we had welcomed a struggling, humble 11 Birkenhead Parkians, and gladly offered them quality players * to ensure an even, competitive game, and improve on past relations.
 
* Players that have actually played before, some with over 50 years of experience.
 
 
The Numbers
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Sefton had done well today, to put out 3 full teams **.
Of course the main reason for this, was the fact that the 2s were playing at home, against a beatable team.
Second Team Captain “NobodyHasEverSaidAnythingNiceToMe” sHameling had his faithful fortnighters at his disposal.
The 3s had put together an honest side, welcoming back the veteran Steve Teale and Colin Pascoe, whose parents both worked for St Helens Glass.
 
As for the opposition, you can only imagine the shock when we came over the car park rise and saw them, in their warm up, covering the horizon. There was fousands of ‘em.
 
** Ok, it was the bare minimum: 18 for the FTWs, and 15 each for the 2s and 3s.
 
 
Kicking
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It was with quiet satisfaction that we learnt a little more of Colin’s, “One Good One, One Bad One” motto in life.
For many years, we’d all thought Colin had been referring to his individual kicks, where he would generally exaggerate on the number of “Good Ones”.
Today, we found out that it was a statement of his match performances. (Admittedly, we are unsure where, and with whom, he generally plays his Good Ones).
But today, for the record, Colin turned up.
Perhaps it was because his loving and loyal family had strolled the 10 minutes to Birkenhead Park ***.
As for the kicking, it was incredible.
(With one notable exception, which I’ll touch upon later).
Heaven knows what the score may have been had not Birkenhead knocked on every one of Blandie’s restarts (although I really don’t think Blandie can take credit for this), or had not Colin’s penalty kicks for touch actually found touch.
 
*** Sadly, the Pascoe tribe had better things to do on this fine Saturday afternoon, for they were nowhere to be seen.
One wonders if he is in a similar relationship to Blandie ****, for he didn’t have any shower gel after the game either, and we’ve just had Christmas.
 
**** I pray for that Blandie though. His family have offered to donate a new Trophy for the 3s Presentation Night.
In somewhat of a contrast to “Sefton’s Player’s Player”, the Bland’s, on his wife’s side, have commissioned a replica bust of Blandie as a perpetual, “Sefton’s Most Disliked Player” award.
I thought this could be pretty boring and monotonous each year, so sadly, for Blandie, there’ll be nothing for him this year *****.
Poor Blandie though, it must be hard each morning and night, always having to check his toothbrush before he uses it. (The toilets in his house are spotless!).
 
***** We aren’t like them 2s, that give out trophies for everything (eg, “Highest Home vs Away Game Ratio”, “Most Tries against the Bottom Team”, “Most Imaginative Excuse for an Away Game”, “Biggest Cast with NO Injury”).
 
 
The Tackle
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(You’ve probably guessed it, I won’t be talking about Brendo here).
Colin Pascoe. He’s a pretty astute guy. He can read a game, see things that us normal guys don’t.
Like a General directing his forces, from well behind the firing line, Colin spent most of the game picking out a weak opposition player to target. A bit like a lion when he seeks out the slowest in the herd.
Sefton had been awarded another penalty by the very generous Referee Snowy, who has a sense of justice that you’ll only find in the lowest leagues, and Colin steps up to dispatch the ball into the huge crowd of Birkenhead Park replacements.
But what’s this? The ball has failed to find touch, and it seems to have been pinpointed on the young and inexperienced Birkenhead winger…
The innocent winger gleefully catches the ball, and starts to sprint down the touchline. He must be all of 9 stone.
From out of nowhere, as if he’d planned it precisely, Colin launches his burgeoning frame at this kid’s midriff.
The collective intake of breath from all the players probably equaled the exhaled breath from the smoted winger.
He was stopped in his tracks. The ball kept on going though, over the 22, the try line and the dead ball. It was like one of Blandie’s signature “clearing back passes”.
 
 
The Game
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Given the circumstances, I could not find fault with any of our players today. I’d stressed that it would be a day to concentrate on doing things right and take some little positives from it.
The Sefton pack must be commended, holding their own against both iterations of the opposition forwards, and the Backs never gave up all day.
Special mention to the 3 new boys, Wayne, Louie and Steve, who saved many runaway Birkenhead thrusts, defending bravely on the Sefton line until the rest of us got back. Louie got the man of the match.
 
 
Prognosis
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Fantastic effort by the lads today, showing a great attitude.
Good to see that Birkenhead’s lack of numbers is only temporary and the bar staff were very welcoming and friendly after the game (only £4.95 for a DRAUGHT Guinness!).
 
Campo x