Sefton RUFC

Sat 24 Feb 2024

Sefton

28 - 19

(HT 18-12)

Littleborough

Sefton

Littleborough

A switch of venue was required for our Littleborough game. Originally, the game was away at Littleborough, but there wasn't going to be any games there unless it was water polo, and there were lifeguards placed strategically around the edge of the pitch. A ground swop was agreed, but would still require a pitch inspection on Saturday morning.

The pitch was fine, though we were spared the standard video of Matty Thomas prancing around in his tight hot pants, whilst commentating on the pitch condition, (Secretly, I enjoy these x-rated videos, and am already on season 2).

On the day, we’re greeted with blue skies, perfect for entertaining rugby. Sefton had fielded a side short of a few regulars, particularly in the front row. Luckily the seconds and thirds weren’t playing, so Matty Cunningplan, and Jack Crone were drafted in. Bizarrely, Craig Johnson unable to hook, because of an injured neck, was placed in the centres. I presume this was for his crash ball proportions, and not for his speed. This ‘cunning plan’, I understand was concocted by our Welsh Director of Rugby, Matty Thomas, and our English* coach, Jamie Luck, and captain Christian Caine. I suspect they may have had a few drinks during Tuesday night selection.

*I vital piece of Intel was revealed this week about our coach Jamie Luck’s origin. Apparently, he’s not even Welsh, and was actually born in London. Now, I can’t ignore the similarities between our Jamie, and the lovable Cockney duo, Phil and Grant Mitchell. Could Jamie be the long lost brother of these Cockney scallies? The more you look, the more you see.

- The Game -

Sefton started off well, managing to get into Littleborough’s half, and put early pressure on them. This pressure was rewarded within five minutes with a kickable penalty left of the posts, which Jay Evans kicked.

It’s often a curse for Sefton to score early, and this occasion wasn’t the exception. The next fifteen minutes was all Littleborough, the lineouts weren’t working for a start, with Craig Johnson in the centres, it was left for Jay Evans to throw in, and the plan that worked well last week, didn’t work so well this week. Why this is, we don’t know? With Christian Caine Snr. eye sight deteriorating the throw has to be pin point accurate, perhaps someone had pinched the bell out of the ball.

Littleborough caught our defence napping on the blind side, and overloaded the space to score a converted try in the corner. Then five minutes later, a penalty lineout ten metres out on the left gives them a perfect platform. The ball is passed through hands, and thanks to some woeful tackling, they went over in the opposite corner.

Meanwhile Jamie Luck’s was doing his cockney walk, up and down the touchline line, muttering that someone is going to ‘cop a flower pot soon’.

Then salvation, the Littleborough prop tries to take Craig Johnson head off, just as he was increasing his speed from a fast walk, to a gentle jog. The disgruntled prop is given a 10 minute rest period on the side of the pitch, with rousing cheer from the home supporters.

The penalty kick was placed deep in the opposition’s corner, and this time Jay Evans finds the mark with the lineout throw. The drive was solid and Sefton were rewarded when Paddy Sinnott grounds the ball over the try line.

Sefton gradually took control, and spent more time in the opposition’s half. Christian Caine Jr. and Nathan Lewis shared the kicking duties when escaping their half, which added options to their attack.

A scrum penalty inside Littleborough’s half allows Faris Ejimofor to crash through the centres, breaking the line, and then popping it off to Craig Johnson, who goes through under the posts for a try. Jay Evans converts.

At this point Jamie ‘Mitchell’ Luck was double busy on his cockney walk, and getting very excited, occasionally shouting, “get out of my pub!”

In the final minutes of the half there is another foray into opposition’s half. The ball is hastily kicked away by Littleborough, only for it to be run back by Faris Ejimofor, who crashes it up. A penalty is awarded to Sefton, and Jay Evans kicked for the three points.

The second half see’s a revival in Littleborough’s performance, which caught Sefton napping. An overlap on the right allows Littleborough to go through the middle, and round under the posts for a converted try, which takes them into the lead by one point.

Two high tackles by Littleborough brings another penalty to Sefton, and Jay Evans slots it between the posts, to take back the lead.

With fifteen minutes to go, the game was balanced between the two sides, but it was Sefton that took the initiative, and applied the pressure. A penalty in the centre within Littleborough’s twenty-two, would have been an easy kick, but instead Sefton took the quick tap, and went right. Nathan Lewis is caught high in a tackle, and another yellow card is issued. The scrum is opted for, and Kyle Noon crashes the ball up. With the defence drawn in, Christian Cain Jr. puts a long pass out to Nathan Lewis who goes round, and under the posts for a try. Jay Evans completes the score with the conversion to give Sefton a two score advantage at the end.

An entertaining game that a times looked as if Littleborough were going to run away with it, but some indiscipline allowed Sefton to regain control. A solid performance from the front row of Mainwaring, Cunningplan, and Crone gave the backs impetus, and Christian Caine Jr. in particular, put some great tackles in. A star performance from Nathan Lewis gave Sefton some great attacking opportunities, and was in contention for Man of the Match. However, Paddy Sinnott was a menace of disruption at back row, stealing ball, putting vital tackles in, and first to react when the ball went to ground, so therefore got the plaudits.

As for cockney Jamie, I don’t know how we never noticed, all the signs are there, he’s very pally with Matt Bland (another Southern softie), he drinks weak lager, and apparently he loves Blur.

Add that he talks a bit weird too, all that, “alright my old China plate, get to the near and far, and buy me a Forsythe saga, so we can get scotch mist”. At the time I just thought he was talking Welsh, but it all becomes clear now.

- In other news -

Valentines has blossomed new relationships it appears, with Wayne Banthorpe and Joe Clarke displaying deep affection for each other on the 3rd team WhatsApp group. It’s turning into a real bromance, which is quite disturbing. I will keep you updated on this love affair.

I’m off now to dispose of these jelly eels that Jamie keeps offering me. How could we not see it?

Lanky