Sefton RUFC

Sat 9 Mar 2024

Liverpool Medical School

8 - 5

Sefton 2nd XV

Liverpool Medical School

Sefton 2nd XV

The Medics part 2 the rematch, it was billed as. The same gnarly old guys in the backs, the usual suspects in the forwards. Like the previous week, this would be a tight battle, but fortune was not favouring this match, with first a lack of referees, and then no available pitch. Eventually, it was sorted, a ref was dug up from somewhere, and the game was switched to Sefton, all was good, till Friday night. A desperate attempt by the Medics to switch the game to the following week, due to low numbers. What, you don’t have ten subs this week? Captain sHambling was having none of it, insisting they come with what they had. He would regret that.

They turn up, not short, somehow conjuring up an assortment of players from various faculties of the University. Let’s just say I don’t think they were all Medics.

- Can lightning strike twice? -

The ref hadn’t turned up, I was determined not to ref again, despite the chance of annoying Mark Dobie two weeks in a row. This was easily rectified by pinching the third team ref, who weren’t kicking off till 3.00, as a last resort Chris McTeary could always step in. The shit always flows downhill. Anyway, the thirds were having their own problems, with Campo contributing heavily to the Sefton Wailing Wall as players started to cry off.

With the replacement ref about to blow for the start, our ref trundles on, confused about the early kick off time. It was agreed that we would continue, until he was ready to come on.

- The Game -

Not a great start this week for Sefton, with some early mistakes allowing the Medics to score an early unconverted try. A lineout ball was lost, and the Medics exploited the Sefton back line, which was set up in attack. The fast paced opposition made quick work of the disjointed defence and were over in the corner before Sefton could react.

The Medics enjoyed the majority of the possession for the first ten minutes, and Sefton did well to prevent them scoring any more tries. Eventually, balance came to the game, and Sefton managed to get some possession.

Scrums were Sefton’s domain, with a comfortable day for the front row, not so easy for the Medics, who went backwards at every scrum. However, the opposition were clinical in the lineouts, and even stole a couple of balls.

With fifteen minutes gone, our ref finally wonders on, unaware to us, he must have set his watch to zero, and we played another forty minutes in the first half. Although this was played mostly in the opposition’s half, Sefton couldn’t find a way over their try line.

The second half was again very even, with both teams having chances, but unable to capitalise.

Sefton’s dominance in the maul’s showed, and at one time, trundled up twenty metres. The players unaware that the ball had left the maul several metres before, and then re-joined the maul several metres later. The ref didn’t seem to notice this, and the maul continued on its way unperturbed by all the chaos.

With Sefton getting closer to the try line, it was the forwards that finally broke the Medics defence. A desperate defence couldn’t prevent Jacob Pickup from sneaking through a small gap and placing the ball on the try line, for an unconverted try.

Any attack from the back line was hampered by the Medics constantly being off side, with JJ, and sHambling immediately hit as soon as they got the ball. Therefore, any attempt to get the ball out wide was quashed.

As the game drew to an end, the play got ever more erratic, with the game becoming a free for all. Players were diving over rucks, and killing the ball, or drifting off side.

With the sides very even, it was clear that the team that would win, was whichever could get a penalty within kicking distance of the posts. The Medics got that chance, and didn’t hesitate in kicking for the three points.

With very little time left, Sefton were unable to respond, and the Medics held out for the slim victory.

Despite the low score line, it was a great game, unfortunately, we can’t prove it because someone allowed the third team to abscond with the Veo to record their game. sHambling is a weak version of a captain. As far as I can tell, from veiwing the thirds game, it was the Jay Evans show, offset by plenty of Goulding bloopers.

Both sides deserved the victory, and with Sefton winning last week’s encounter, you could say it was a well fought draw. However, the League points were decided this week, and thankfully this setback derails sHamblings dream of getting promoted. Something that only he seems to want. It must be an ego thing.

Some fine performances, with Isaac Lancaster at fullback admirably handling the Medics insistence on peppering him with kicks at every opportunity. Jacob Pickup, and the slimed down, Rob Norwood, had monster games in the forwards, and as usual Mark Dobie cheated a lot. Man of the Match went to JP Ellis, who seems to do twice as much running as everyone else. He’s like a big daft dog, running up and down the pitch.

Lanky

- The Sefton Mystery Reporter -

Where has he been, it must have been pre-Covid since we sampled his, or her, journalistic talents. However, the Sefton Mystery Reporter is back delving into serious public interest stories.

This week, Isaac Lancaster has drawn the attention of the fact finding journalist. Isaac has come through the ranks of the Sefton Junior section, and is now part of the new, young upcoming talent pushing into the first team. Known best for his big tackle, in more ways than one.

SMR: Thank you for sparing some time for me Isaac, or do you prefer little Lanky?

IL: I Don’t mind, but I don’t know why I’m little Lanky, I’m taller than my dad.

SMR: You may well be, but you’ll never be bigger than him, he’s a Sefton Legend, must be hard living in his shadow.

IL: It is, he’s still the Alpha in the house, how can I compete with his awesomeness.

SMR: I agree, he is awesome.

You’re working now for Cheshire Roadways, and I understand you’re responsible for bus stop locations. That’s a bit ironic with your mum coming from Essex.

IL: What do you mean?

SMR: You know, Essex girls, bus shelters, using them for protection? ........... (long silence) .......

Erm, anyway, you like a drink, I hear.

IL: Yes, I do, but it’s not as good as it was, now that the Sefton magical bar has gone.

SMR: Magical bar?

IL: Yes, Brendo told me about it. If you stand by the bar long enough, a beer magically appears in front of you, without having to pay for it.

SMR: Amazing!

IL: Yes it was, but ever since I got a job, it stopped working, very strange.

SMR: Erm yes, but all this drinking must have an effect on you.

IL: What do you mean?

SMR: Well, I heard that you have a problem recognising your door keys, and was once discovered outside your house trying to unlock the door with a chicken bone.

IL: I don’t know where you get your information from, that couldn’t be true.

SMR: I have my sources, very reliable sources that tell me it’s true. Apparently, you were trying to get in for ages.

IL: That magical bar has a lot to answer for.

SMR: I believe you also know Super Tourist.

IL: Yes, we actually worked together, helping Christian and Seb Caine with furniture removal.

SMR: That’s very honourable of you.

IL: Yes I thought so, but they weren’t very appreciative though. Apparently, they didn’t want their hotel beds removed.

SMR: Some people are never grateful.

It would be a serious professional error if I didn’t ask you about the Christmas tree incident.

IL: It was just unfinished business.

SMR: Ah yes, the year before the Xmas tree won didn’t it.

IL: Yes, this year I had to teach the tree who was the boss.

SMR: You definitely did that, the tree will not be mocking you now, but why did you have to tackle it naked?

IL: I just got caught up in the moment, again the magical bar didn’t help.

SMR: It did dispel some rumours.

IL: Yes, it gets really cold in the clubhouse.

SMR: Thanks Isaac, it’s been very insightful.

Isaac is already in training for this year’s Xmas tree confrontation, he is hoping to make it 2 – 1.

Sefton Mystery Reporter