Sefton RUFC

Saturday, the second team welcomed Liverpool Collegiate in a much, anticipated derby match. With a plethora of props available this week, both the first and second teams filled their sides with multiple front row players, gorging on the feast, whilst leaving the thirds with very little.

New recruitment Chris Brogden joined the seconds this week, and stand-in captain sHambling was full of praises, with it getting a little bit embarrassing in the huddle before the match. Explaining his bromance for this new stand-off, saying that he has pace, an excellent step, great handling ability, and can kick. He said this oblivious to the fact that Welsh JJ was standing next to him, talk about kicking someone whilst they're down. I swear I saw a tear run down JJ’s face. Of course, you can imagine the team were very supportive of the demoted stand-off, and didn’t point out his deficiencies at all.

- The Game -

The match started at a furious pace, with Collegiate struggling to get hold of the ball, as Sefton forced them back into their half. A penalty was awarded inside the oppositions twenty-two, and Chris Broyden was quickly on the ball, to take a quick tap. Slaloming his way through the retreating defence, he steps through and scores under the posts, converting his own try.

With Sefton’s lively back line, it wasn’t long before they were attacking again. A break by Wayne Banthorpe sees him break through into open space, and race for the corner with the opposition in pursuit. The defender finally catches, and tackles him just short of the line, but is unable to stop him reaching over his head and placing the ball on the try line.

Chris Brogden’s quick feet again allows him to step through the defence, and with the full back to beat, he off-loads to Tom Rainer, who was in close support, and goes over for a try. Converted by Brogden.

- Winging it -

I think that Jack Beckwith dreams at night of being a winger, sprinting round the outside, outpacing his opposite number, scoring diving tries in the corner. Unfortunately, in reality he is not a sprinter, but a slow, ponderous second row, more useful pushing in the scrum, than jinxing left, and right. However, that doesn’t stop him trying, and Jack is often found on the wing, I suspect in reality, having a bit of a rest. Surprisingly, Jack finds himself in a resting position on the wing and the ball comes out to him. He’s obviously been watching backs with their quick footwork, and has a go, taking the defender the wrong way, and stepping through to the try line. Brogden converts.

In the closing minutes of the half, the penalty count against Sefton increases significantly, and this allows Collegiate to camp on the try line, with Sefton unable to find a way out. A scrum on the five metre line, turns into a penalty for Collegiate, and their scrum-half quickly taps the ball, and races over the try line, for a converted try, before Sefton could react.

The second half break gave Sefton time to re-assess their game, and re-establish control. It wasn’t long before they were back in the opposition’s half, using the forwards to take the ball up the middle. This pulled their defence in, and created space on the outside for Chris Brogden to take advantage of. He stepped through a gap before off-loadionng to Lancaster, who sent a scintillating long pass out to Welsh JJ, who was running at pace. The centre, for once, resisted the opportunity to kick the ball through, and instead headed out wide, outpacing the covering defence to score in the corner.

This put Sefton now firmly in control, with Collegiate now unable to get steady ball in the scrums, and Tom Rainer winning, or disrupting every ball in the lineouts. An appearance for Michael Tansey started off well, with his first carry allowing him to skittle the defenders in all directions, as they tried to stop him. Only minutes later he was able to use that strength from a shorter range, as he crashed over the try line from five metres out, with little resistance. Brogden converted.

Yet again Jack Beckwith is lurking on the wing, and he again receives the ball with one man to beat. Just to prove it wasn’t a fluke, he steps the defender, taking him the wrong way, and strolls over the try line.

Another break by Chris Brogden sees him skip through the defence with ease, with Charlie Renshaw in close support. He is yards from the line, with no opposition near him, and he pops the ball to Charlie Renshaw. Now if I was Charlie, I would have thrown the ball over the line in disgust, insulted by the charity offered by Chris. However, Charlie must have seen the glory, and accepts it gratefully, grounding the ball over the try line.

In the final minutes of the match, Collegiate are already thinking about their first beer in the bar, and all defensive commitment has disappeared. This allows Wayne Banthorpe to leave a trail of destruction as he steps through flaying arms, and half-hearted tackles, to go through under the posts. Brogden Converts.

A decisive victory for the second team, continuing their unbeaten run. It’s great to see the return of some old players, such as Pete Johnson, Jack Beckwith, and Michael Tansey, as well as new players joining. Man of the Match went to sHambling’s new favourite top boy, Chris Brogden, a promising talent, who I can confirm, can run, has a step, has great handling skills, and can kick! Unlucky, JJ.

Yours, Lanky.

The Sefton Mystery Reporter finally catches up with the elusive second team captain, John Paul Ellis, probing his thoughts on his winning formula, and his 'unique' method of captaining his side to success.

 

SMR: It's good to finally meet the captain of the undefeated Sefton 2xvs.

 

JP: Who's that?

 

SMR: Erm, you.

 

JP: Oh right, yes.

 

SMR: So, who has been a stand out player for you so far?

 

JP: Erm, the flanker.

 

SMR: Which one?

 

JP: Erm, the left one.

 

SMR: Do you know any of them?

 

JP: I feel like I’m better if I captain the side from afar, it’s better for everyone.

 

SMR: I see…….. Let's get to know you, you’re very much the Taylor Swift of Sefton, you’ve had multiple eras, there was teenage fullback JP, off his barnet JP, in shape JP, moustached JP, PT JP, now you're entering your dad era, are you worried you are going to get a dad bod like Liam Brown has?

 

JP: Yes, yes I am                                                                            

 

SMR: It has been noted you haven’t played much for the 2’s, opting to play for the downtrodden first team, you’re a bit kinky aren’t you? You went from a cushy job at Jaguar, to the competitive world of Personal Training.

 

JP: I love the challenge I……

 

SMR: Kinky

 

JP: (head drops) yes.

 

SMR: What cliched film meme do you feel best describes your captaincy so far? ET cycling off into the sky, Forrest Gump jumping in the water, Frodo getting on the ship and turning round?

 

JP: Probably Andy Dufrene in the sewage water at the end of Shawshank.

 

SMR: Dark

 

SMR: You’re rumoured to be making your glorious return to the 2’s this Saturday, how are you feeling?

 

JP: I’m really nervous, I need to rediscover my place.

 

SMR: They play in red and white.

 

JP: Phew, that’s a weight off my mind.

 

SMR: Let's talk about your job, your latest client from Sefton, Joe Clarke, what are you working on with him?

 

JP: We are working on his power.

 

SMR: As a professional, how powerful would you say he is, from a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being a campo air tackle and a ten being Wayne Osbourne’s conception potency?

 

JP: About a Liam Brown hand off.

 

SMR: Oh, so like a five then?

 

JP: Yes, probably a low five.

 

SMR: Any final words of encouragement for your comrades?

 

JP:  Yes, I’m doing a circuit training class on…………..

 

SMR: I’m sorry, this isn’t an advertising opportunity.

 

JP Ellis makes his return to the second team this Saturday, in a top of the table clash against New Brighton. It will be interesting to see sHambling introduce him as their real captain. Will they reject him, or welcome the return of the king?