Sefton RUFC

JP ‘Jabbering Pramboy’ Ellis leads the 2xv to a great hard-fought victory in another great week for the undefeated 2xv in a season of champagne rugby

 

Pre game – home or away

Last week with all three teams at home, our captains had what we call good problems. Too many players, good ones, “this guy won man of the match two weeks ago, I don’t want to give him to Campo, but this new toy is so shiny, and I want him”.

This week was back to the usual captaincy problems, of not having any players.

- Giz gone AWOL -

Trying to get three away teams out this week meant we were taking fifteen players. One of which was Giz, a Fijian who has relied on a lift for every away game since he’s been at Sefton. However he assured JP that this week he'd be making his own way there, despite having no car. Was he getting the train, maybe the bus? I know the 61 goes everywhere, but I don't think even that bus goes to the far reaches of Waterloo. Unsurprisingly, that's the last we saw of Giz. Is JP that gullible?

 

- Cometh the hour cometh the pram -

It's one of the most important investments you make in your life, second to buying a house. So you can understand why our captain, JP, took the weekend off rugby to investigate the different options. Should he buy a specific use vehicle, or multi use where it adapts to the situation, does he go for sports wheels, or all terrain wheels, is there enough cup holders? Yes, buying your first pram is a consumer nightmare.

We were glad to hear, however, that this didn't take as long as he thought, and he arrived before kick-off to make up the fifteen*. Galloping onto the pitch; his poor pregnant girlfriend struggling to keep up with his gait.

*Much of sHamling's embarrasing arse kissing rambling removed, obviously worried about losing his place.

Dempsey V's Dempsey

This club is filled with wingers and flankers and nothing else. The centre position being a challenge. You need versatility, someone fast, aggressive, and agile. Our captain would have to put a flanker (or two) into the centres. The big choice would be, which Dempsey to put at centre? Would it be the fast, aggressive, and agile Mike or the older, slower, turns like a 90’s Gameboy character, Jay. 

They went with Jay. Saying "just ruck over sweet child, I’m not passing today" to Jay, who smiled oblivious to what was going on.

 

- The Game -

The punctuality was again sensational, that goes without saying, but needs to complimented, as it used to be a massive problem. Everyone was out and getting warmed up. With fifteen players, no one was allowed to get injured, and with our 'man of glass' being our most hotly contested award this year, this was of utmost importance. Waterloo also had fifteen, but with two returning 2's players, they had some X factor in the team, as well as some Vets.

Despite a rampaging run by Mike Dempsey at the kick off, Sefton started terribly, multiple dropped balls, missed tackles, a narrow defensive line, and an opposition who had far superior rucking skills. Sefton found they were twelve points down within the first ten minutes.

Our captain didn’t throw the toys out the pram though. Luckily the real Sefton finally showed up, our pods led by three big runners, Mike Dempsey, Joe Clarke, and Tom Rainey, smashed it up, with the rest of the pack just about securing ball. Eventually Sefton ploughed deep into Waterloo's half, and the ball went out to sHambling, and no further. Fortunately, the line was close, and the opposition were slow to react, and he was able to get over the try line**. He failed to convert.

 **sHambling's view (heavily edited)

At the restart Sefton again crashed it up using the forwards pods. sHamling gets the ball again in space, with just the full back to beat, and chipped the ball over his head. The ball bounced up perfectly, and he was able to retrieve, to score under the sticks***. This time converting.

***Again, heavily edited.

 

Despite the scores being even Sefton were in a purple patch, and turned the screw. Our captain Pramuka Gorgodze, turned inside centre, who had been well marshalled up to this point, was let loose in the back field. Going on a vintage JP gallop, arching round then straightening up, completely ignoring the Isaac Lancaster and Dan Harrington overlap outside him. Cutting back inside, the opposition are unable to tackle him. I wonder if it’s his Cockney running style, all high knees, and elbows. He is over for a converted try.

Sefton went even further into the lead with a great try from Ben (4of5) Wayman. A phenomenal performance from him, man of the match candidate, his side stepping, tackling and distribution were massive for us today, he didn’t put a foot wrong.

The second half got off to a terrible start with Waterloo firing out the gates and marching down field and eventually scoring two quick tries to cancel out Sefton's lead.

What was the problem? Waterloo were very good at the ruck, jackling a lot of Sefton's ball. However, you could also suggest the service at the back of the rucks wasn’t as fast as it should have been. Matt Bland was in no hurry to get there, possibly taking two connections on his bus trip to each breakdown. Maybe, he saw Giz on his travels. By the time he'd arrived, the opposition had managed to fit in a drinks break, and a little chat, before getting ready for the next phase.

 A massive break from Mikey Dempsey eased Sefton's worries, reaching the opposition full back, before throwing the ball at sHambling feet. He gathered it off the floor and managed to lob it up to Danny Harrington who outpaced his man, to score in the corner. Not too much later Danny outpaced his man again, in much less space to put Sefton in the driver seat. One of the two converted.

Joe's Time to Shine

From the restart Chris Lewis caught the ball, and set up the ball on the half way line. Blandie is able to put Joe Clarke through a gap, when he runs the perfect line, allowing him to set off on a lung busting break. A pass to sHamling on the twenty-two is returned to Joe allowing him to score left of the posts.

Waterloo had no intention of going out quietly and scored again, their play from the back of scrums causing Sefton all types of problems. The final ten minutes saw Isaac Lancaster make a phenomenal tackle to save the game from getting very interesting. Afterwards Sefton played territory and saw the clock out.

A great win, in tough conditions, against very game opposition. The game was played in good spirits, with multiple players vying for Man of the Match. The obvious choice, was Ben (4of5) Wayman, who had a stunning game, or Joe Clarke with his devastating runs. However, just like the Trump administration, JP looked after his friends, and gave Man of the Match to sHambling. What is this, the Aaron Gore Award? There's no justice.

Another great ref, who kept the game moving, with little disruption.

Nine wins, going for la decima next week. Let’s go.

At Waterloo after the game, I spoke to JP’s missus about:

Baby clothes shopping in Cheshire Oaks on the 30th of November.

Theres a great cot shop sale in St Helens on the 7th of December.

And everyone knows Helsby is the only place to get high chairs in January.

  

Yours, James E Hamling

(Heavily Edited Version)