Sefton RUFC

Sat 14 Dec 2024

Sefton 2nd XV

53 - 12

Ellesmere Port 2nd XV

Sefton 2nd XV

Ellesmere Port 2nd XV

- Nightmare before Christmas -

Selection was a bit ropier than we'd hoped, all our students apparently leaving on Friday the 13th of December to get back home before Christmas. What are they doing, walking home? Can’t they spare a day to play with the undefeated 2xvs, bah humbug. 

- The Opposition -

As we enter the back half of the season, we can’t help but think of our closest game of the season, 2 weeks ago, a 17 all draw. We knew this would be a tough game. However, we're assured, that despite there 1s not having a game that week, and having 26 players, apparently, they only had three 1st teamers in the squad.

I know this because they all stuck to this blatant fabrication, all 23 second team players, the bar staff, the players parents. An old women walking past as I entered the club, called me over and whispered in my ear…’they only have 3 first teamers in the squad’. In retrospect, I recognised about 7 players today.

- The game -

Ellesmere port with about 30 mins to game time had 2 players, a big drop from the home fixture, eventually they got to 12. Brian Gardner and Giz decided to play for the opp, giving them two of our more maverick players, game on.

What to say of the first half, the worst rugby Sefton have played. Evidently, the more dominant team, but every stupid way you can lose the ball, they did it. Knocks on, offside, killings rucks, held up in a mall, miskicks.

Hypothetical question, you’re playing against an opposition with only one arm, his right arm. You catch the ball and you begin to outpace him and run past his left hand side, would you A) carry on B) cut back in side to his good side and get slotted every time

 If you chose A then you obviously didn’t play for our gang of space cadets on Saturday, Sefton determined to make the game as difficult for ourselves as possible.

Isaac Lancaster was the biggest culprit of this as he was brought down time, after time. It was eventually suggested to him that maybe he would have better luck if he ran at his other side, you know, the side with no arm.

In the sporadic moments Sefton didn’t mess up, two simple tries were scored. A returning Adam Walker picks up from the back of a scrum, and is too quick for the opposition, taking the ball over the try line just right of the posts. Chris Brogden converts. Another try came from sHambling whilst Ellesmere's defence was in disarray, going over unhindered.

A massive boost was our forwards work at the lineout and scrum which was a lot more dominant than two weeks ago. Tom Rainey, Devons flying salmon, stealing most of their ball throughout the game.

Then Sefton went back to being terrible again, Brian Gardner turned us to Swiss cheese on several occasions with his flamboyant passing and line breaks, all this 3 hours before he would have a microphone in his hand.

As if playing poorly wasn’t enough, Sefton made life even harder when with nine minutes to go, Joe Clarke, maybe a little harshly, got yellow carded for a high tackle, being more of a football player in both temperament and hurty toeness. Joke lark didn’t know a yellow card meant he needed to leave the field, just sort of stood there awkwardly like he was third wheeling a date.

Eventually we shuffled Joe off, and to compound things Lanky got yellow carded also for a high tackle, Lanky getting done for a high tackle; that’s like Elon Musk filing for bankruptcy. Ellesmere Port scored and were within 5 points, with an extra player than us. With two of their team being Sefton players.

Despite this setback Sefton rebalanced the score minutes later, when Chis Brogden floated a teasing kick out to the wing. The ball was caught by Ben 3/5 Ryland which left a 2 v 1 against Ellesmere's winger. Ben draws the last defender, before putting Tom Donnally through in the corner.

 A half time bollocking and Sefton were back at it. I cant say things improved that much for the first twenty, though we scored two more tries. Chris Brogden at fly half firstly putting Adam Walker through a gap with a nicely delayed inside pass, and then Tom Rainey with a similar ball outside.

With 20 minutes left, and after the ninth time shouting at the forwards to play our rugby, we finally got the ball rolling. Pod after pod led to the ball going wide into space. Sefton started to score break away tries at will, firstly a Chris Brogden kick bobbled awkwardly for their full back, and it was skillfully kicked through by Tom Donnally, who scored in the corner. 

From the restart, a Joe Clarke catch, and trundle, set up a brilliant solo try for our former 2xvs player Wayne Banthorpe. Smashing his way through, and outsprinting everyone to get Sefton in the Christmas spirit.

A try for Ellesmere put a bit of joy back on their faces, but this was the only reprieve they got.

The next bit of play was sublime, when the captains favourite player Chris Brogden throws a behind the back dummy, a double step to half break the line, offloads to Tom Rainey who's running a perfect inside line. This then goes on to Phil Ingham who was in blinding form today. Also running a perfect support line, he throws a reverse pass behind his back, into Ben Rylands bread basket, who takes the ball to the 5 metre line. Unfortunately, the try was soon flubbed, but would have been in contention for best try against Ellesmere Port, and that’s saying something.

Eventually, another try for Tom Donnally is added to his total, scoring a jug. 

The game ended with Tom Rainey picking and going from eight at the back of the scrum, and somehow running 60 metres untouched, in about 5 seconds. The sight of this rampaging giraffe in full flight caused Ellesmere to ask for an early finish, leaving us with a 53 -12 win.

Man of the match went to Tom Donnally. It was a crazy game for Tom, he touched the ball 6 times, scored 3 times, knocked on twice and got penalised for an illegal jackal. However, any time a jug is bought you are massively in the plus.

Overall the performance wasn’t up to Sefton’s usual standards, but a 40-point win is a 40-point win, campo will be furious.

We can now reflect on the first half of the season, undefeated and playing great rugby. Everyone getting involved, and potentially more players to come back. Could 2025 be even better?

Yours, sHambling