Sefton RUFC

Sat 15 Feb 2025

Liverpool Collegiate 2nd XV

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Sefton 2nd XV

Liverpool Collegiate 2nd XV

Sefton 2nd XV

The longest walk in the UK is Land's End to John o' Groats, which is 874 miles. The second longest is Aigburth cricket club to Collegiate’s rugby ground, it took Brian Gardner so long he actually turned 51. Though because we're so nice, we chose to still celebrate his half a century landmark.

- The Game -

The warm-up was everything Campo hates, everyone was there, we had plenty of time to stretch, and the backs practiced their magical moves that are never run. The referee came over and told us that he saw we were undefeated, with some big wins. Oh boy, we know what that means.

This derby game was all out warfare, from the first minute neither side was budging. I’m of course talking about Brian vs loud woman from Collegiate, it was glorified trench warfare, the sides split by 50 yards, heckling away. She was more annoying than realising you’ve left your passport at home, but the birthday boy would not be deterred.

The game was a mess with rucks a free for all, and keeping the ball was nigh on impossible. Sefton we're so assured and over confident, but every 30 yard run was followed by throwing the ball away, or turned over. Luckily Sefton were able to keep Collegiate pinned in their 22, every kick was returned by Isaac Lancaster, whose haircut has now entered the 90’s.

The deadlock was broken when the ball came to back up captain, sHamling, who saw the collegiate centre fly out for the interception, dummied, and hit big Andy Farlie in the hole for the score. Spoiler, Gorgeous converts everything.

Another try was scored by sHamling, an absolute break down, and mess in play leaves everyone standing around confused, allowing him to wonder under the sticks, untouched.

A further try was dropped, I mean scored by Wayne Banthorpe, after sucking Collegiate in with big carries by big Dave, Phil and Rainey, lead to Farlie firing a 20 yarder into Wayne's breadbasket for him to spike down, well it was better than Prenton.

The first half was a struggle, with an inability to keep the ball, multiple try scoring 3 on 1’s flubbed, however, there were some great performances. Matty Cunninghams first half showing was as good as I’ve ever seen, at least 7 jackals, he was like a falcon; all over those balls. Gorgeous was dictating the play under very difficult circumstances, and Tom Rainey's one arm leaping catches at every lineout, and subsequent carries were works of art.

Second half begins, and sHamlings favourite player, Chris Brogden turns up (sHamling has a poster of Chris on his bedroom wall). Andy Farlie is moved to full back, his natural position, and we soon learn the man can kick the ball, like John Smith style ‘ave it’. He kicks the ball like it owes him money, 50 yards downfield, we're in awe. Unfortunately, Andy's power setting only has one position, really big, not helpful if you only want to kick 10 metres.

The second half was much like the first, highlights include: dominant scrummaging, at one point Collegiate requested to go uncontested, saying, they had a new second row. That’s like binning your car because your motorbike stopped working, everyone knows second rows don’t do anything but look pretty.

More highlights include a returning Cameron Hughes, running over someone to such a giant thud. He has that weird lanky strength, massive amounts of muscle spread over his 6-foot 4 frame, leaving him with his ballerina physique. Someone shouting phases just as the ball is booted away, was also hilarious. My personal favourite moment was subbing Hollywood joe aka Dave, that sad little puppy dog face. I can’t wait to do it again at Winnington Park.

Back to the tries, Sam ‘Gandalf’ Gallear, named thus as, he shall not pass; crashed over the line after 10 or 12 patient phases on Collegiate's line.

Collegiate, tired with the onslaught of our 5-man bench. Man of the match went to an unspoken favourite of mine, Tom Rainey. Clearly the best lineout jumper at the club, his one-armed leaping catches, followed by one man carries from the drop were amazing, and in the last twenty minutes he wore Collegiate into submission. A trademark run got him beating multiple men all the way to the five yard to pop up for an easy try for Gorgeous.

For Steve Kidd it was not a good day, multiple chances, but not able to get over the line. If to rub it in further, as soon as he went off injured, a break by jack Meggit came out to put in his replacement winger Ben (3/5) Rowlands in for an easy try. This was unsuccessfully converted by Gandalf who went for the interesting tactic of trying a gentle chip kick from the tee, which bounced off the upright leaving the game 47 nil.

Another big derby win and clean sheet against a game and competitive Collegiate team, it could well be on to our 3s to take up the mantle, as we look forward to keeping the unbeaten streak going into the seventh month. As Sefton move to the end of the season, we leave a big target on our back, for the chasing teams. Swiss Toni sums it up perfectly when he said, "being on top of the League, is like making love to a beautiful woman, it feels great, but you're always looking over your shoulder, worried that someone might slip infront."

- Fighting for position -

With the cavalier 2s the place to be, being good at rugby is no longer enough, shoulders need to be rubbed, wheels need to greased. Dobie after a week in the 3s has upped his camera game, a simple post-game pic isn’t enough. He’s added action shots, candid camera, erotic portfolios, flick books, videos.

Lanky realising the clinky bag no longer sufficed with most of team, tee total, just focused on next weeks performance, he had to up the ante. He decided to strip to his underwear and recreate the call on me video by Eric Prydz. I can’t deny his downward dog was very impressive and left certain asking themselves challenging questions, questions they probably weren’t ready to ask themselves. We will see what affect this has on availability I imagine it will be enormous, throbbing.

sHamling