Sefton RUFC

After Sefton’s impressive victory over New Brighton last week, the seconds were keen to push on. Next on the list was Anselmians away, a tough team, often hard to crack.

A glorious, sunny day provided the opportunity for fluid, running rugby. Though Sefton had a full compliment, there was a few carrying injuries that they had picked up over the previous weeks. 

- The Game -

Sefton’s strengths came from their dynamic pack, and it's fast paced backs, and this was evident from the start. Insurgent runs by props Ben Webster and Charlie Renshaw, as well as the two Dempsey brothers pushed Anselmians back into their half. A measured kick allows them to attack the lineout. Anselmians wayward throw falls perfectly to 'Holywood' Joe Clarke, who sets off on a storming run through their floundering defence, leaving bodies on the floor in his wake*. He is finally brought to a halt ten metres from the try line. At this point the ball is released to the backs where Ben (Borg 3/5) Rowland goes over for the first try. Gorgeous converts. 

* Normally, Holywood Joe would not get such high praise, everyone ignoring his irratic rambling in the clubhouse after the game. However, the editor can, and was heavily bribed to insure it was recorded. Others take note.

Sefton didn't rest on their laurels, and ensured that Anselmians couldn't get an early foothold in the game. Their fragmented defence was all over the place, and Ben (3/5) Rowland exploits the chaos, to go through the middle, and under the posts for his second try. Gorgeous converts.

- Always sHamling -

What is it about sHamling, that everyone hates him? Anselmians centre, possibly their most aggressive runner, makes a beeline straight at our luckless leader, who is hit full in the face. He is off with a two inch gash under his eye. Where is the 1st aid kit? sHamling looks gormless, what 1st aid kit? The one you pick up when you collected the kit, sHamling. More blank looks, maybe he has concussion, who can tell with him? An old sock is used to dab the blood, and some sterry strips were borrowed from Anselmians.

Wayne Banthorpe moved into the centres, and a not quiet fit, Steve Kidd goes on the wing. This didn’t stop Sefton’s determination to get the job done early on. Another, attack from inside Sefton’s half leaves Anselmians scrambling back again to try and stop the onslaught. From this attack a lively Tom Rainey is able to go through and score left of the posts.

The ref was irratic in many of his decisions, favouring Anselmians with any 50/50 decisions. This is something Sefton has accepted as a consequence of their own success. Despite this, Steve Kidd manages to increase the lead with his own try.

- Holywood Joe goes limp -

Poor Joe's injury issues continue, and his continuation in the game was in doubt, as he limps off the pitch, complaining of a calf injury. On closer inspection, he had a small bruise on the back of his leg. Despite Lanky offering to massage his injury, with his soft, warm hands, the pain was too much. Joe clearly has a low pain threshold, and his yoga exercises on the the sideline had no effect, his game was over.

At this point the ref seemed determined to give Anselmians a hand. High tackles on Sefton were waved away, whilst JJ was penalised for a horrendous tackle around the chest area. At one point, Anselmians actually took their own player off, when their big Samoan stamped all over Tom Rainey's ribs.

The constant penalties inflicted on Sefton finally broke their resolve, and Anselmians went over with a try. They were allowed to take the conversion three times, I have no idea why, something to do with third time lucky.

The second half was uphill for Sefton, as well as dealing with the refs opinion, that Anselmians can do no wrong.

A fantastic run by Wayne Banthorpe, settled some nerves, as he barges his way through and over the try line. However, this was quickly wiped off, with Anselmians getting a try of their own.

Ben (3/5) Rowland adds to his score tally with a third try, but again Anselmians come back with another try from a Sefton mistake. A loose ball on their line allows Anselmians to pick up, and go over to keep within touching distance.

With twenty minutes to go, Sefton’s superior fitness finally takes effect. Another stunning run by Steve Kidd takes him into the corner for his second try.

Returning player Paul Foster surprised everyone with his burst of speed. The young prop, races away with the opposition in pursuit. With the full back coming across, he had the choice of Wayne Banthorpe on the outside, or Tom Rainey on the inside. He chose the right option passing to Rainey who goes over for his second try.

A final try for Dan Harrington, at least gave young Dan some success, after having a torrid time with the ball in the air. Hopefully his sieve shaped hands will be replace soon.

Another hard fought battle, with Sefton needing plenty of patience to finish Anselmians off. Another impressive nine tries, and six conversions total. Man of the Match was surly a certainty with Ben (3/5) Rowland getting a hat-trick of tries. However, sHamling obviously had a different agenda. Either Ben is out of favour with sHamling, or he has been listening too much to Wayne Banthorpe's teary cries that he never gets MOTM. The cryer won it.

The MOTM Wayne, described as a 'pain in the ass' by the opposition, (something his girlfriend/fiancé agrees on. We all have our preferences), and DOTM Dan, both had to demonstrate they we're true rugby players, by competing in a drinking competition. Both Wayne and Dan failed miserably in this task, with Wayne taking at least half an hour to down his pint. Ben wouldn't have taken that long.

Swiss Tony would say, "Downing a pint of beer is like making love to a beautiful woman. No matter how cautious you are, you'll get too carried away, and it ends up all over your chest'.

- Official Complaint-

Right, it's not funny anymore, who has pinched our President's rugby boots? Brian may not have used them this weekend, putting himself as 'break glass' if needed sub. Happy to take the glory of being part of the mighty two’s sideline support staff, in charge of controlling the Paparazzi. But this doesn't justify this sort of behaviour, possibly considered treasonous. Next we'll be pinching the Ariel from the club secretary's car, and then we'll be in the sh......... Oh!

No game next week, but it is the Six Nations finale. Hopefully, it's wooden spoons all round for our Welsh infestation.

I'm off now to get that 'Man of Glass' trophy inscribed for Holywood Joe. Let's face it, no one else is winning it now.

Yours, Lanky