Sefton RUFC

A potential banana skin game saw Sefton usher in 2025 in style

 

- Pre Game -

After the sheer overflow of last week’s selection, we discussed starting a 4th team again. However the well took a little more coaxing throughout the week. We eventually got to three teams all with subs by Thursday.

 

The only disappointment was the usually reliable Isaac Lancaster pulling out on Friday night. The man with the hairstyle of a mid 1980's Yugoslavian pool boy offered the feeble excuse of a pulled quad muscle. Which makes no sense, as he has no quad muscles, he’s like a human jellyfish. I’m not complaining, it adds to his elusiveness. But he didn’t even come to watch, what was he busy doing? Who knows but it probably involved his unique brand of extreme tree hugging

 

- Propped up by the Welsh -

I don’t know what’s a more surprising fact, how many Welshmen we now have at the club or the fact they haven’t started a choir… yet.

 

How many people are claiming Welsh heritage, I’m losing track: Luck, Thomas, Welsh Jack, Welsh Jacob, JJ, Founds, even I claim Welsh heritage on the rare occasion it suits me (when Wales won the Grand Slam, or when Duffy released the song Mercy). 

There's a new Tom Jones enthusiast down and he’s a Prop not just prop shaped like the first two names above. He was brilliant,q and now I need to work out how to explain to the first team how he won man of the match, but needs to stay in the second team for a bit.. say the rest of the season

 

- The Game -

The game plan was simple, be awesome at rugby. Dominant forwards, a saucy halves pairing, centres and electric back three we were ready to get at it. West Park brought a heavy pack and a back line full of colts, a recipe for a good match.

After narrowly missing a storm with 60 mile an hour winds we were greeted with something even worse, glorious, low sunshine. Luckily after winning the toss it was behind us the first half.

Sefton came out the gates firing, taking full advantage of the wide pitch, and swinging the ball sideline to sideline. The only thing that could slow us down was Jack Meggit wearing Dobies Doc Martins, though to his credit he beat multiple men while moving around like he was walking barefoot on a pebble beach.

 

The breakthrough was a gorgeous one, after barrelling down into west parks 22, a superb crash line by Joe Clarke was brilliantly ignored, and used to show and go, with Gorgeous scoring under the sticks.

 

A second try was swiftly scored by ex-West Park and Conwy Castle connoisseur JJ, a self-professed WP legend, “have you seen my picture still on the wall” After closer inspection I did indeed find several posters of JJ: ‘have you seen this man? Report to the bar if you see him lurking’. JJ absolutely and some would say unnecessarily (not me) boshed a colt into oblivion to score in the corner. The kick was exquisitely converted by Chris Brogden

Another try was scored by Ste Kidd, and to save time, I'm going to lump his 4 tries together. Wow, what a performance, the silent assassin, his passing technique may be stiffer than a fence post, but my gosh, running at full sprint the ball was launched at his ankles. He miraculously caught every ball, and then proceeded to beat three men, before dotting it under the posts, Wayne who? Yesterday’s news. The man whose jaw is swinging from Crewe to Firwood Waterloo, Wallasey to Didsbury.

But come back really Wayne.

Another saucy try was scored by our resident twink, Will Messham. It should be said he’s growing into a handsome young man, I’m adding him to my list of man crushes (Kyle, Chris, JP, Gorgeous etc) he must be more popular during freshers week than the student union. His try was a well worked move out to the sideline where Will outpaced several men until he got to the full back. With a simple three on one, he dummied and went himself, but unlike Danny Harrington I didn’t mind when he did it.

However, it wasn’t all smooth sailing, our resident Gavin and Stacey superfan JJ went and made multiple boneheaded rugby decisions which the referee correctly caught. Stripping the ball, that’s a high tackle you fool, a ten-yard pass that the opposition shout forward before it left your hand is obviously going to be forward, otherwise why shout it. And of course, you can’t charge the ball down with just one hand, that’s a penalty, that might fly in Swansea but not here.

With all the first half tries coming from backs, you would be remiss in thinking the forwards did nothing, but that was not the case, they were on a tear.

 

Chris Lewis, who came down the night before with the dreaded man flu had to dig deep, and was bullied into playing the full 80 mins. This involved lifting Jack Beckwith up at the lineout, though lift doesn’t accurately describe it, hoist maybe? Heave? Lanky was his industrious self; doing the unseen things, which makes it hard to write about, Owen Price, I will get to him later.

 

Our second row consisted of late addition Jack Beckwith, who showed great hands and line breaking as well as lineout work. Eddie ‘All cock’ Alcock stepped up again with massive carries and tackles. How by letter of the law the referee was; it was surprising that a nose shattering high hit on Eddie wasn’t punished with a card.

 

Our flankers were old, how old you say? The last time they stood on a field together it was to fight off the Vikings. But they are two of the fittest players on the pitch, Joe Clarke's contested ball takes from the restarts were majestic, and his energy across the pitch was infectious. And Paul Walker, the mans a machine he reads the game like a book and puts out fires everywhere, he makes it look simple.

Finally, Phil Ingham, this man has stamped his place in the team. He may have the body shape of your mum's best friend you call Auntie even though you’re not related, but he’s a beast, he didn’t put a foot wrong.

 

Mark Dobie and Tom Donnally entered the fray for another hard 40 minutes. The second half was a much bigger challenge, blinded by the sun and finding it near impossible to not give away any penalties every 30 seconds. Sefton found themselves constantly pinned back deep in their 22, conceding 2 tries. Sefton remained calm, Gorgeous' box kicking, and fly half Chris Brogden's dancing feet, making massive breaks to get us back in West Parks half.

Through grit we were able to score two blinders, Man of the match Owen Price shook and shimmied his way to the try line before setting up a try for Ste Kidd to score.

A great win with half the team up for Man of the Match, but newbie Owen Price was picked. His scrummaging, ball steals from rips, and Jackling were outstanding, as well as his ball carrying, which came with a little Welsh flair.

 

The 2s remain undefeated on our second go round, long may it continue.

Yours, sHambling