Sefton RUFC

The penultimate game for Sefton second team, was a rearranged game, away at Helsby. With the League Championship already secure, it was all about keeping their unbeaten record intact.

Sefton had a solid side, although key player Gorgeous was unavailable, so Chris Brogden was shuffled inside to scrum half, and Liam Brown went to stand-off. What could possibly go wrong? On a positive note, captain JP Ellis was back after his long absence to take the reins.

- The Game -

It was all Sefton for the first twenty minutes, but they had nothing to show for it. Thinking they could throw the ball around Barbarian style, and score off the first phase. Sefton's attacking process of the forwards taking the ball up, and then using the backs in space was forgotten as soon as the game started. Instead, individuals took it upon themselves to try and make something happen. Last second passes out of contact, needlessly kicking the ball, and long passes, resulted in giving the ball back to the opposition.

An intercepted ball by Andy Farlie looked promising, as he raced through a gap. However, he nonchalantly strolled though, seeming to slow down as he got to their twenty-two, allowing the opposition to catch up, and prevent the try.

With the wind behind them, Helsby used the boot to good effect, pinning Sefton down in their half. Dan Harrington insisting on running the ball back into their biggest players. A number of penalties were conceded by Sefton, and Helsby were able to power over for the first try. Sefton weren't panicking yet, but they needed to improve their performance.

The restart was too short, and Hesby gained possession again. From a scrum, Helsby took the ball blind and fired a perfect ball out to their rapid winger. Going round the outside, and through under the posts for a converted try.

Suggestions that Sefton stopped gambling with risky play seemed to go on deaf ears, with passes flung out to nobody, or balls kicked away rather than using overlaps created on the outside. There were opportunistic moments, with breaks by both JP Ellis, and Wayne Banthorpe, but each time the play broke down, the ball was lost cheaply.

- Kicking Update Pt. I -

When not throwing random long passes out to the backs, Liam Brown liked to kick the ball away. A suggestion that 'don't kick' could be written on the toe of his right boot might be helpful, however, I doubt it would work. A clear overlap on his outside, and he decides to do a crossfield kick which landed perfectly into the opposition wingers hands.

Helsby, in comparison, used their boot to good effect, constantly kicking over Sefton's back three. One perfectly measured kick leaves Isaac Lancaster scurrying back to retrieve the ball,  only for some mindless idiot shouting "kick it". Isaac needed no encouragement, and puts his boot to it. This goes no further than the oncoming winger, who has an easy run in for a try.

- The Game Changer -

Holywood Joe comes off, and is replaced by Mark Dobie. The game suddenly changes, and Sefton finally put real pressure on Helsby. What does Dobie do, that Joe doesn't? Dobie is a second row, we hide him there to protect him, mainly from himself. He does nothing but push, and take photos, he has no other function. So if Dobie does nothing, what does Joe do? Does he cancel everything out, like negative equity, is he the equivalent of Goulding in the third team? The second teams very own Equalizer.

In the final minutes of the half Sefton finally break through. A lineout creates a maul, and Matty Cunningham breaks off from the back. Though stopped short of the try line, Chris Brogden is able to pickup, and dive over the line. Converted from wideout by Liam Brown.

The second half started perfectly for Sefton, with Sefton taking the ball from the restart with Mitch Bretherton carrying the ball to the line. The ball is quickly recycled at the breakdown, and is passed out to Andy Fairlie who is able to go through for a try. Converted by Liam Brown.

Just as they'd got some grip on the game, Sefton seem to go back to their laissez-faire playing style. Chucking the ball around with careless regard.

Andy Fairlie went to full back, and used his massive kick to get down into the opposition’s territory.

- Kicking Update Pt. II -

Andy Farlie's boot is impressive, easily able to kick out of his twenty-two, and deep into the opposition’s half. However, apparently restraint and subtlety isn't Andy's forte. Attacking within Helsby’s twenty-two, disregarding his two man overlap, he attempts to kick through to the goal area. This kick, requiring a gentle toe poke goes fifty metres, with the ball going past the dead ball line, and into the trees on the far side of the field, never to be seen again.

Helsby put another twist in a game that Sefton thought was theirs, when their winger breaks from their own half. Misjudged, he was able to avoid several attempts to tackle him, and take the ball around the outside, and race away under the posts for a converted try.

Meanwhile, Holywood Joe is having a full body massage on the sideline, with oil, whale music, and scented candles. This will surely put the fear into Helsby.

With twenty minutes to play, Sefton dug deep, looking to get back in the game. Several penalties allowed Chris Brogden to kick into the corner for a five metre lineout. The ball is caught cleanly by Tom Rainey, and Mitch Bretherton secured it at the back. A slow drive allows him to walk the ball over, before grounding it, for an unconverted try.

Now only five points behind, Sefton had ten minutes left to rescue the game.

- Kicking Update Pt. III -

What was Wayne Banthorpe thinking. Trying to get out of our twenty-two, the best option would have been to give it to Andy, and we would have been down in the opposition’s half in seconds. Unfortunately, Wayne was going for glory, and attempts to kick it himself. The ball is blasted low into one of the Helsby players face, luckily it bouncing back into a Sefton hand, not a Helsby hand. On explaining his actions later, he said if the player wasn't so tall it would have easily cleared his head. I honestly don't think he was that tall, infact he was probably smaller than average, possibly dwarf size.

Despite Banthorpe's incompetence Sefton finally get the ball out of their half, and are rewarded with several penalties that eventually sees them back on Helsby’s five metre line. A clean catch by JP Ellis, and the ball is again secured at the back by Mitch Bretherton. The slow drive for the line is inevitable, despite Helsby’s resistance. This leaves the defensive line short of cover as they try to stop the drive. Bretherton sees the gap, and is able to break off and go over for his second try. All square, with the kick to win it, this was Liam Brown's moment.

He missed the conversion.

A roller coaster of a game, that could have gone either way. Helsby were a formidable side, and Sefton probably didn't give them the respect they deserved, until the final quarter. Man of the Match was difficult, with sparks of brilliance coming from players, but also moments of lunacy. On balance of brilliance to lunacy, it was Andy Farlie who just edged it, and was Sefton's MOTM.

After the match, to decide the winner of the game, the two MOTM went head to head in a drinking contest. Andy, who again seemed to be dressed/imitating a homeless person, looking like he stole his trousers off Wayne’s dwarf, went up against Helsby’s winger, that Sefton couldn't catch. This also ended as a draw.

It's the final game of the season in two weeks time, a home game against Mossley Hill, hopefully Sefton can complete their unbeaten run. There will be celebrations anyway, and I suspect JP will come in full John Terry kit, shin pads included, just to steal the glory, unlucky sHamling.

I'm off now to the charity shop to buy homeless Andy some trousers that actually fit him.

Yours, Lanky