Sefton RUFC

After the 3rd teams clash with Oxton Parkonians last week, it was the 2nd teams turn. With availability low this week, it seemed it would be a very similar team, albeit, against a bigger, faster, and more drilled opposition. Key players, like the Trinity were all unavailable for the seconds. Hollywood Joe was still broken, Steve Kidd moved up to the 1st team, and Wayne Banthorpe was in Turkey. I can only guess what Wayne was doing in Turkey, his teeth and six pck implants have already been done. Maybe other things needed improving? 

Entering the changing rooms was like deja vu, Blandie prancing around in his boxer shorts shouting, "paint me like one of your French girls", Danny Harrington starting early on the after game beer, in the hope that it will dull the pain, Giz looking like a serial killer,  and Dobie still trying to lift his arm above his head. Same dejected faces, but different Captain. Both captains longing to be liked, be inspirational, and lead their team to victory. This is never the outcome, look at Hamling, the seconds didn't lose a game last season under his disillusioned guidance, yet everyone still hated him.

After last week's closely contested game, this we felt was going to be a different matter. Kev Mainwaring, wisely had neglected to tell his warriors that Parkonians were undefeated, and top of the league.

Their pack seemed bigger and stronger, but it's OK our captain had a cunning plan. After Captain Goulding puts himself in at eight the other week for a 3rd team game, Captain Mainwaring follows suit. If I'd realised the captain could choose his position, me and Campo would have done that every week.

With our clubs most experienced prop now at eight, it was up to the rookies, Ben Webster, and Matty Williams to fight over loose and tight head prop.

The Game

The first scrum wasn't pretty, although the ball is initially hooked, it never made it to the back, lost between that mystical world of the second row. As the scrum travelled in a reverse direction, the ball reappeared back in the front row, and disappeared through the opposition’s legs. Suggesting afterwards that maybe his cunnig plan, wasn't so cunning, was met with uncertainty, and dismissal. Despite Ben Webster being an admirable eight, Kev said "we'll see how the next scrum goes".

Surprisingly, Sefton stood between total annihilation, and just about holding their own, for a good ten minutes. Tackles were being made, and disruption was Sefton's main weapon, spoiling as much ball as possible.

Eventually, Sefton succumb to Parkonians need to get over the try line, and they score an unconverted try in the corner.

Sefton suddenly spring to life, stringing a number of passes together, and breaking into the opposition’s half. A breathtaking run by Danny Harrington left the opposition backpedalling in defence, and was only brought down in a last ditch effort. The ball was recycled and Ben Rowland cuts the perfect line through the centres, to go under the posts for a try. Chris Brogden converts.

Sefton, somehow are in the lead. The worry was, this could only anger Parkonians.

The scrums never improved, although we managed to get the ball to the backs, it was always rushed, and scrappy. This left the backs with the limited option of kick, or take into contact.

Defensively, Sefton were brilliant, the half back, and centre combination of, Brogden, Brown and Rowland held firm. But Parkonians always had an overlap, with Tom Donnally left to defend three attackers, one a prop sized winger, who could run like a winger, but looked like a prop.

It was the set pieces that really challenged Sefton, as well as the scrums, the lineouts were just as daunting. With Hamling off with a knee injury, this left Brendo as our only jumper. Parkonians had a tall, skinny jumper at the front, Brendo had no chance against him. 

"Let's throw at two". Are you sure Kev, he's quite good, I don’t think Brendo will be able to win the ball there. "Yes, two"

I have to say, I was pretty good, hitting the mark everytime. 'If' I was throwing for the opposition. 

To be far we did quite well in the first half to restrict them to a four try advantage. It would have been less, if not for Chris Brogden's lose of reality. Just after Parkonians had scored a try, Chris rushes off to restart the game, whilst the rest of us trundle back as slow as possible, to waste a bit of time.

I don't know what Chris was thinking, but I saw five opposition players within the area he decided to kick. I presume he thought he could kick it short, collect it, and run through the five defenders to score a tremendous solo try under the posts, which he would convert, to the adulation off the crowd. That didn't happen, they beat him to the ball, passed it along the line, and scored in the corner. We walked back under the posts again.

On the next restart, the ref asked him, "are you going to do that again, I enjoyed that".

In the second half, Chris Brogden takes a break, (I don't know why, maybe he went to reflect on some life choices), and Liam Brown goes into stand-off.

- Kicking Update -

I like Liam, but he should never kick.

A penalty in our half, and Liam is asked to kick for touch. Liam does a 'Colin Pascoe' and the ball goes backwards*. Now, not only are we five metres further back than we started, Kev calls a two ball. I hit the opposition target perfectly. 

*Colin Pascoe was actually watching, he must have been so proud.

I feel the game is going away from us, however, there are some positive things though. Danny Harrington was like a man possessed, not worrying about his own safety, and ran at full pace with ball in hand. Chris Brogden defensive tackling was outrageous, Liam Brown and Ben Rowland attacking lines were decisive. Giz was just Giz, and Seb Hannibal eventually took out the prop sized winger.

In the last fifteen minutes everything started to come together for Sefton. Kev relented and went into prop, putting Ben Webster at eight. Surprisingly, we start to push their pack back. Because of this Matty Williams had extra energy, and started to make those devastating runs he demonstrated last week. We start to throw at four, and ok Brendo's fish hands only caught fifty percent of the ball, but it was better than nothing. We were in the opposition’s half pushing for a second try.

With a penalty in the final play, and the opposition clearly rattled for the first time, Liam Brown was asked to kick into the corner. The ball doesn't make touch, they catch the ball, and kick it out. The game ends**. 

** Reminder: Don't let Liam kick!

Ok, it was a rout, but Sefton did play well. Parkonians were just better organised, clearly trained together, and are enjoying the rugby at the moment. We are missing some key players, but I did see glimpses of last years seconds. As ever with Sefton, we are slow starters, and don't generally come good until after Xmas.

Man of the match was a disputed one, with Dan Harrington and Ben Rowland definitely worth a shout, and Chris Brogden, despite his mental laps also having a great game. However, the captain chose Seb Hannibal, for a second time in two games. I'm wondering if Seb has something on Kev? It must be bad, because I can't think of anything worse than what we already know about Kev.

I have to question Kev's insanity of repeatedly doing something, and expecting a different result. Or maybe he is still drunk from the euphoria of JJ winning the Eurovision Song Contest for Austria, with 'Wasted Love'. I don’t know.

I don't think we have to hide Kev's belt and shoe laces just yet, but we do need a good performance next game.

Yours, Lanky