Sefton RUFC

Sat 22 Nov 2025, 14:15

Sefton 2nd XV

10 - 28

Newton-le-Willows

Sefton 2nd XV

Newton-le-Willows

- Death Trip -

Had I known that I'd accepted a lift from the next Lewis Hamilton, I would have not got into Seb Hannibal's car. My finger marks will still be embedded in the door handle, as was his girlfriends who sat terrified in the front seat. The only thing that numbed the experience was the thud, thud of his gangster rap music blasting out of his stereo. The request for some Taylor Swift was ignored. We arrived at Sefton, before we set off.

The Wailing Wall was full, with Kev Mainwaring and Jay Goulding both occupying prime spots. With all three teams playing this week, it was a scramble to get a side together. Both the two’s and three's sharing the limited subs available.

- The Game -

A tough game for the second team. Newton-le-Willows brought a side full of Rugby league players, who had no idea of the tackle hight.

Giz, introduced himself early to the opposition scrum half, and takes him out a number of times, regardless of whether he had the ball, or not. The penalties that ensued allowed Newton to kick into Seftons half.

From this Newton get their first score with a crash ball through the centre to go over for a converted try under the posts.

Sefton were awarded a number of penalties, mainly for high tackles, this allowed them to get into the opposition’s half. Another penalty in front of their posts allowed James sHambling to kick for the three points.

A stalemate happened for the rest of the half, with Sefton dominating the scrums, but losing at the contact area. Blandie as usual waiting for that perfect ball, and by the time it came out Newton were already lined up waiting for the hit.

In the second half, Newton scored a dubious try in the corner. It clearly looked like their player had stepped out of play 5 meters from the line, however, it was their touch judge holding the flag, and it stayed down. Despite the ref having a long conversation with him, the decision stood.

If that was controversial, Sefton's try was equally dubious. Sefton kicked a penalty into the corner. Ben (5 of 5) Routledge secured the lineout, and set up the drive five meters out. Newton stepped away from the contact at the lineout to try and win a penalty. It was unclear whether there was any contact, if so it was minimal, but the ref was convinced there was. Sefton were therefore able to drive over the line for Dobie to dive over,  with little resistance. A rare try for Dobie who seldom crosses over the opposition’s try line as a matter of principle. Converted my sHambling.

Newton were kept at bay with a couple of yellow cards for high tackles. This kept them one man short for roughly 15 minutes. I say roughly, because it didn't seem they were off for that long.

Back at full strength and Sefton couldn’t keep them out any longer. A couple of penalties allowed Newton to step through before Sefton could get back in defence, and they score under the posts.

A final try by Newton followed a speight of cheap penalties given away by Sefton to put the game out of their reach.

The Game was in the balance till the last quarter, and it was an excellent team performance, considering the amount players unavailable.

Not a great game to watch, due to the amount of stoppages. The ref insisting on bringing the captain together at every break of play to relay his dissatisfaction of the players behaviour.

It was slightly better than the 3rd teams game, with no ref turning up, our President had to step into the role. The game got abandoned with twenty minutes to go, because the ref couldn't handle the abuse. I find hard to believe, with the amount of abuse Brian gets from us every week. He was at a real low after the match we were seriously thinking that we might have to remove his belt and shoe laces.

Man of the Match was decided between the captains usual favourites, and it's now getting embarrassingly obvious. We generally open a book each week on whether Seb Hannibal or Wayne Banthorpe gets the blessing off Kev. This week Wayne was his favourite. To be honest, I'm glad his focus is on those two, I can’t imagine it's worth the prestige. Especially when he tells the Man of the Match that it's tradition to wash the captains back in the showers after the game. It isn't tradition, Wayne, it's just one of Kev's many fetishism's.

I made my own way home, but I was startled by Seb's girlfriends look as they left in his car. It was only later, I found a note that had been secretly placed in my pocket, saying 'HELP!'

Yours, Lanky