Sefton RUFC

Availability was tight for this big encounter, luckily with no 3rd team game, players could be brought up into the side.

It was great to see captain Kev Mainwaring back after a long injury break, but the pace would be challenging until he got up to full match fitness. Also returning was Laurence Twycross, who showed promise in earlier games, but hadn't been seen since he went home at Christmas. I suspect he got too use to his mum looking after him, and refused to leave his home comforts.

The pre-game warm-up and preperation was thorough, with everyone appearing to be up for the challenge. However, Kev's pre-match talk was ominous. As rousing as it was, I couldn't help feeling like it was going to be like the last episode of 'Black Adder Goes Forth'. In the trench waiting to go over into no man's land, towards certain death.

- The Game -

Initial performance was good, with Sefton holding their line and competing well. Scrums were tough, but no side really got the advantage. The lineouts were a different problem, with Parkonians being well drilled and able to disrupt a lot of Sefton’s lineouts.

Parkonians backs displayed superb ball handling skills, and didn't let Sefton relax in defence. The valiant defence was not enough to stop the opposition’s first try.

The first half was difficult for Sefton, trying to contain a young, well organised Parkonian back line. Sefton struggled to break through their defence, but when they did get close to their line, dropped balls allowed the opposition an easy escape. Sefton we're several tries down with no reply.

Laurance Twycross going off didn't help the cause, being Sefton’s main lineout jumper. He insisted it wasn’t drink related, but you can never trust a secret Scotsman, especially about drink. 

The second half was better, with Sefton unlucky not to get on the score sheet. Laurence Twycross comes back on feeling much better, it was probably something he ate.

A penalty ten metres out is taken up by Joe Clarke who piles into Parkonians defensive line. Support from behind drives him forward, and he does get the ball to the line, but the ref deems it a double movement.

Another chance comes for Sefton soon after when Wayne Banthorpe cuts the perfect line to go through under the posts. This is also ruled out for being a forward pass, which was strongly protested by the Sefton players. The outburst earned the opposition a penalty, which they tried to take early, however, Andy Farlie prevented the quick tap. The yellow card subsequently came out, and Sefton we're now a player down.

- I wasn't offside -

Five minutes later and more disappointment for Sefton. Chris McNeal comes round the outside of a ruck and lies all over the ball. Another yellow card is issued and Sefton we're down to thirteen. Salad protests his innocence, but in reality he knew what he was doing, there was the possibility he just wanted a ten minutes rest.

- Kicking Update -

What was Sean Muirhead thinking? Sure, he did one good kick three years, when he produced a 50/22, but he's been living off it ever since. This kick was a hopeful Hell Mary, ignoring his backline that we're lined up in attack, no indication that he was going to do it, and a crossfield kick which goes straight into the opposition wingers hands.

- A broken man, but a happy ending -

Poor Joe worked hard in the match, against a strong front row. The battle scars were evident, and he was suffering from a debilitating dead leg. He carried on, till he couldn’t.

As he limps off, he is quickly accosted by Mrs Lanky, who offers to rub his injured leg. Stating, "if you leave it and don't rub it, you will go stiff"! I'm sure it's the other way round, but who am I to question an Essex girl. I think she has a soft spot for our JC, which is not what you can say about Joe, after his rub down.

With Joe going off we would have to go uncontested, until we remembered that Brian Gardner was on the subs bench. I think the Club President was hiding behind the scrum container hoping no one would see him. He reluctantly agrees to come on. Although his participation would be minimal, it would be nice company for our winger, which is where Brian has spent most of his playing career.

A tough game, but very enjoyable, despite the scoreline. The two tries that got disallowed ŵere a disappointment, as were the two yellow cards, both of which were harsh, considering the area of the pitch they happened.

Lots of good performances from Sefton, with the backs having to stop some big, strong runners. Laurence Twycross shows great promise, despite his twenty minute 'break'. He was all over the park with new vitality when he came back on. Man of the Match was benignantly given to Lanky Snr. for once not accused of lying on the ground half the match. If Kev thinks he's getting his back washed in the showers from me, he's mis-read the signs.

- He knows how to treat a girl -

The promise of a romantic Valentine meal for two enticed Ben 3/5 Rowlands girlfriend to come and watch him play. They we're later seen in the clubhouse sat at a table together, eating Frank's pie and beans. I'm unsure if any of Frank's special sauce was added, but it just shows romance is very much alive. I'm just sorry we couldn’t find any candles to add to the ambiance in the room of forty rugby players.

- Taking work home -

Isaac Lancaster was unable to play this week due to his concusion last week, but fortunately he was able to bring his car park attendant skills into Sefton. Telling Ben 1/5 Webster's son Ben 5/5 Jnr. that he can't park his matchbox cars by the women's toilets. We will all sleep easy tonight knowing Liverpools car parking facilities are neat and orderly.

As for Laurence Twycross his Scottishness slowly started to reveal itself the closer Scotland got to a victory. I never liked him, I wish he'd go home.

I'm off now for one of those rubs, if Joe isn't still there.

Yours, Lanky

Man of the Match