Tue 28 Apr 2026 20:15

Sat 18 Apr 2026, 15:00

Capenhurst RUFC
Sefton RUFC
It was the last game for the second team this week, and the captain had gathered a side full of talent. However, Capenhurst are 3rd in the League, and it would be a difficult, competitive game.
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The Game
Capenhurst start strongly, with some hard running in their forwards, which left Sefton's defence under extreme pressure. This held at first, but it was only a matter of time before they breached the defence. A try came with ten minutes gone, breaking through and going left of the posts. This was followed by another immediately after, and looking like it would be a long day for Sefton, with two cheap tries conceded.
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Retribution came from Homeless Andy, who had already been or most dangerous player. Capenhurst found him hard to deal with, stepping into a gap and going over for a try. Chris Brogden converted.
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In shock, Capenhurst lost concentration at a penalty, Gorgeous chips over the top, and into the space behind. The opposition were slow to react, and Gorgeous was able to gather and go over for an uncontested try. Brogden converts.
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Capenhurst wrestle back control and add two more tries to their score, provided by some cheap defending by Sefton.
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At half time captain Mainwaring had to come off after dislocating his finger early on. He is replaced with a disappointed Brian Gardner, who was hoping for ten minutes at the end.
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Sefton started to play some good rugby and managed to get two more tries, one from a quick tap and go by Gorgeous, and a Danny Harrington try out wide. This put them two points behind Capenhurst.
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The rest of the game was an arm wrestle with Capenhurst getting two more tries, and Sefton getting one. In the final 10 minutes you could tell how anxious the opposition were getting, because when they got a penalty near the posts they opted for the kick to put them 3 scores ahead of Sefton.
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Despite some valiant effort the score remained at that, and Sefton can think themselves unlucky not to have won the game.
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Man of the Match went to homeless Andy. He was the main instigator in turning the game around, and preventing what could have easily been a bad day for Sefton.
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Yours, Lanky.
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The Sefton Mystery Reporter
The Sefton Mystery Reporter consoles captain Kev Mainwaring on a difficult and challenging season.
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SMR: Thanks for talking to me Kev,, or is it Shrek? It hasn't been an easy task, especially after the second team were last year's unbeaten League Champion winners.
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KM: Yes, thanks for pointing that out. JP really put me in it, but what really annoyed me was he left me with sHamling! It's like buying a car from someone, to find they left a really big turd in the boot.
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SMR: That's a bit harsh, I thought sHamling helped you this season.
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KM: More of a hindrance, he just annoys everyone. He's the itch, you just can't scratch.
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SMR: All teams have struggled this year though, you must be pleased you made it to the end of the season.
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KM: That's true, a lot of teams have folded this year, I feel my personal touches have kept the team together.
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SMR: I don't think you should be touching anyone, Kev, is that even legal?
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KM: The shower thing is a great motivator, Wayne Banthorpe loves it, I have very soft hands.
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SMR: They are soft, you obviously don't do manual labour. 
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KM: No, I don’t tend to get my hands dirty anymore, I'm a Civil Engineer.
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SMR: Ah, a soil counter, that must help whilst organising the team.
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KM: Yes, especially when dealing with lower management, you have to put them in their place.
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SMR: Ah, I see what your implying there, your talking about Goulding. You've pretty much raped the third team captain of players this season.
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KM: Well he understands, shit always flows downhill. Seb Caine passes it to me, and I give it Goulding. It's a natural progression.
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SMR: In regard to playing, both you and Goulding seem to fancy yourself as a number eight.
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KM: Oh, I see what your doing, your trying to bait me into explaining why I left Ben Webster high and dry against the huge experienced prop, whist I sat at the back of the scrum.
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SMR: I would never imply that, but now you mention it, some of your decisions are a bit irratic.
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KM: I get really stressed during a game, I have a lot of decisions to make. Do we throw to number two or four, when can I take Dobie off, and put someone useful on, is Sean Muirhead really a nine? Captaincy isn't as easy as you think.
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SMR: I can see how that can be difficult. You must be glad the season is over, especially now the sun is out.
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KM: Yes, I colour very easily, I bath in sunblock at this time of year.
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SMR: Yes, gingers don't have it easy.
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KM: Strawberry blonde.
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SMR: Yes, of course, Strawberry blonde.
What about next season, will we see you continue as captain Mainwaring?
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KM: I'm undecided at the moment, I know sHamling is keen to take control, but I'm not sure I could do that to the team. I feel like I'm Caesar, waiting for Brutus to stab me in the back. He is hungry for power.
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SMR: You can't allow that to happen, it would be like a sinking ship, Gouldings boat would be overcrowded, with refugees seeking asylum. Or it could go the other way, galvanising them with their mutual hatred.
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KM: It is a hard decision, and with some of my Colts coming through next year, I will have to decide, could I really subject them to sHamling?
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SMR: Ah yes, new blood, let's face it the cupboard does need a sweep out of the old.
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KM: Yes definitely Blandie and Dobie, but I would keep Lanky, he has nice soft hands.
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SMR: Thanks for your time, Kev, you have been very honest, and we hope to see you take charge again next year.
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Kev, is now under strict instructions from his Doctor to stay inside out off the sun. We will no doubt see him again, at the onset of Winter.
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Report by the Sefton Mystery Reporter 

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