Sat 17 Oct 2026, 15:00
Buying your first house is a lot like a kneecap; it’s not as much about the size or the condition, it’s all about the area, facing the right way etc etc. In other news the 2xvs are back to winning ways.
After the daylight robbery of last week, where some rugby was played in between getting punched and clotheslined and legit tries disallowed by the meekest ref ever. The 2xvs were in much need of not only a win but a performance, and they got both, with a strong side littered with strong performances.
Pre game:
Port Sunlight is a beautiful place; often used in film and TV, Peaky Blinders, Chariots of Fire among others. They’re rugby teams changing rooms are not. It was more of a temporary storage cupboard, with 1 toilet, 3 showers, a bench, four plastic chairs and a leather shagging cube, which Joe Clarke was eyeing up. Luckily, he got hurt in the game or someone (young) was making a film of their own.
Speaking of young, Joe ‘Nice’ Nice, so nice they named him twice, is claiming he’s not old enough to drink. He looks like he’s too old to get into nightclubs in concert square, what the hell was his childhood like? Looking like a grizzled Vietnam vet who's seen some things. This is a common theme in the 2xvs, as Tom Rainey is claiming to be 23 last time I checked.
Unfortunately, in retrospect and I hate to place blame, but captain Kev's warm up really let us down. We stretched the hamstrings, the ankles, the chest, but what about the kneecaps? Where was the straight leg raises, the quad extensions? And he lost the toss, making us play uphill; it was inevitable really.
The Game pt 1
Watching them keep it up the jumper in a 20-minute game of touch beforehand we knew their gameplan, and they were good at it. Huge boys; old, and older still, smashing it up. Sefton having to work hard to limit their yards. A well earned turn over sets Sefton off on attack, big carries from our forwards especially Kyle Noon, Matt Williams and Louis Baker lead to a series of penalties. Lineouts were then expertly secured by the Rainmaker, getting all the way down to their five metre line. The ball was recycled to Tom Donnelly who went 1 vs 3 and smashed it over the line, before converting to put Sefton on the front knee, I mean foot.
The restart was caught by Charlie ‘the law’ Renshaw who with a mixture of a dangerous tackle technique, an uphill pitch and a lot of bad luck annihilated his kneecap, made evident by his manly screams, roars some would say. It’s a devastating loss especially with New Brighton next week, where he put in a legendary near perfect performance two seasons ago that is still fondly remembered. We hope to see him back in 2027, he’s too good and beautiful to not keep chugging on.
The hike
Unfortunately, nothing we could do for young Charlie, we had a game of rugby to win. Port Sunlight told us they had another pitch, but it was off in the distance. I think we crossed from Merseyside to Cheshire in the 25-minute march to the other pitch, more players got injured in the process we lost Ben Webster, the sun was starting to go down. but we were ready to play.
It was worth the walk, this was a much better pitch, a lot flatter, no one wrapped in tinfoil blocking the way. A full-blown upgrade and the ref for no reason said we were playing downhill now, which was great because I was goosed from the walk.
The Game pt 2
With the hill in our favour Sefton took charge, a contested knock down lead to a scramble with Tom Donnelly winning the race, kicking through to get his double score.
The forwards were all eager today to get their carries in and saw plenty of ball, but the backs too were wreaking havoc. The centre partnership of Tom Fletcher and Callum ‘Wilkinson’ Rossiter gaining massive yards, and when the ball finally came out to the wing Wayne unleashed one of his devastating carries. Smashing his way through 5 or 6 people with bodies strewn everywhere to score in the middle.
The restarts were an issue, partly because they were so good at them (they had a lot of practice) and Sefton not dealing with them. GI Joe Clarke expertly caught a good restart, then after being tackled proceeded to commando crawl from our 10 to their 22, which was an interesting watch. The ref brought it back for their penalty, luckily the kick for touch stayed in. Sefton caught it while heavily contested and got it away to an open Danny Harrington, who went on a mazy 60 metre run beating multiple players and causing chaos before being brought down. The ball was kept alive and someone scored. Converted by Tom.
The last 5 minutes of the half saw Sefton defend their line successfully with ferocity against a team designed to dominate this scenario, a huge sign of our resolve.
The second half, the game got a bit more open and loose. This suited our group of skilled mavericks, who would play the system, but add a touch of pizzazz to break the lines. The second half started with a penalty conversion to ease us in.
Matty Williams who was a man of the match candidate started hitting outrageous lines breaking the defence at will. While the centres were shaking and baking, making huge gains and imperious in drift defence shutting down all attacks.
There was only two tries to show for our dominance, with a break from Danny Harrington being brought down in their twenty-two. Offloaded to the great support play of Louis Baker, who deserved a try badly, but was brought down a yard short, before seventy-year-old Joe Nice also working his socks off chasing the break; picks and goes over the line.
In the final minutes Callum makes chicken salad out of you know what to score a brilliant individual try. This is followed by the worst dropkick ever; to say it didn’t leave the ground would be an understatement it practically went underground.
Port Sunlight got their just desserts with a bit of luck with a mid-air volley landing out of play on our 5, a not straight lineout (that they didn’t contest) leading to them crashing over in the corner. Much credit to them they had some injuries (ours were better) but played a good hard-fought game in good spirits, never giving up. Someone get that message through to Birchfield.
So many good performances I didn’t mention: Isaac Lancaster had his best performance at scrum half (probably, I didn’t see the first two) didn’t put a foot wrong; almost gorgeous. Tom Rainey completely shut their lineouts down, whilst winning all ours, and Danny, Wayne and Matty made a ludicrous number of breaks. The rest of the pack worked their tails off to provide the foundation for this sweet rugby. The only downside rugby wise is we flubbed a lot of basic try scoring opportunities, which will be rectified against our new arch nemesis New Brighton next week.
Man of the match went to Tom Donnally who relished every opportunity to carve up Port Sunlight, and play devastating rugby.
Charlie Renshawly this can’t get worse
Things can only get better (now). Campo recommends six days rest and you’ll be ready for next week.
Yours
Princess
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