The seconds have a new captain, what motivated Jack Beckwith to take on the poison challis is unclear, perhaps it was the ‘Aaron Gore Revelation’ of giving yourself ‘Player of the Season’ that inspired him. Whatever it was he has been busy all week whispering in players ears trying to entice them to join his band of gay cavaliers. How he would fair is questionable, with Jack rarely finishing anything he has started, just ask his wife. Last season’s ‘Man of Glass’ was seldom short of some sort of injury, would it be like Princess sHambling captaincy, mainly directing from the side line?

However, there was no tears spilled onto the wailing wall this Saturday, with a late cry off Friday night by the third teams opposition. Poor Jack was inundated with calls from third teamers wanting to join his merry crew.

A full squad, including three subs were enrolled, as well as a lurking Chocky, who was wondering whether he should come out of retirement again.

----- The Caine Infestation ------
How many are there? I think they’re trying to take over the club. We had no less than four Caine’s on the team sheet, two Perry’s and two Christian’s. I know, that book of baby names is quite small in the Caine household. However, as Saturday came Perry Caine Jnr. cried-off. Why, we do not know, perhaps it was one of his mystery illnesses he seems to get weekly. Chocky was in!

---- The Game ----
New Brighton had a well organised side, with a slick back line that was able to move the ball out wide fast. Although Sefton’s forwards kept the opposition busy for a bit, eventually New Brighton got hold of the ball, and with their first attacking move were able to pass through a thinly guarded back line to score.

New Brighton added to their score when Sefton kicked a hopeful ball into their area. With plenty of space to run into the opposition were able to counter-attack and score a second try.

Further misery came to Sefton when Princess sHambling got injured. The hapless back was having a good game and was close to scoring when he was tackled short of the line. His cry-out was chilling, immediately causing the ref to stop the game and make spectators reach for their phones to call the air ambulance. However, it was a case of the boy that cried wolf, and embarrassingly he had to pretend to hobble off to save face. With no spare backs, Jay Dempsey was relegated to the wing.

Sefton had other chances, using their forwards to bash a hole through their defence, and create space out wide. A switch of play by Jay Evans put Jay Dempsey in space on the wing. The try shy flanker almost had a panic attack as he got close to the line, looking to be through in the corner. A last ditch tackle by the opposition dislodged the ball from his hands as he went to ground the ball, to deny Dempsey a third try in his rugby career.

Sefton’s backs had very few chances, with the opposition rushing up in defence whenever the ball went out, and preventing the ball from getting over the gain line. New Brighton eventually went on to score two further tries, both from Sefton’s mistakes, before the end of the half.

In the second half the dynamic of the game changed, with Sefton realising they had the upper hand in the forwards. A number of scrums broke apart when New Brighton were put under pressure, and allowed Sefton a slight advantage.

In a scrum five metres from their line, New Brighton were driven off their own ball and Dan Fisher was able to pick up from the back of the scrum, and dive over for a try.

New Brighton reply with back to back tries against the run of play by breaking from their half to score.

This is where Sefton enter a purple patch, where Perry Caine, Dave Chiocchi, and a deceptively strong Dan Fisher lead the charge. Through the forwards, Sefton manage to crash it up and advance towards the opposition try line. Their defence finally breaks with Dave Chiocchi driving through and over the line.

At the re-start Chiocchi takes the ball and is again charging down the pitch brushing aside defenders. A number of penalties enabled Sefton to kick the ball into the corner, and from there, attack the line. The onslaught by Sefton eventually led to Dave Chiocchi breaking through again to score under the posts. Precious kicks the conversion.

Sefton finally break the opposition’s front row and the game had to go uncontested, thus taking away a big advantage, New Brighton were eventually rewarded with a final try in the last play of the match.

It is only after the match that we find out their first team don’t start their season till next week, and we had been playing half their first team, so in reality the team played very well against a strong, skilful side. Man of the match went jointly to Dave Chiocchi and Dan Fisher for their attacking prowess.

So a positive start by the second team, but still some areas to work on, if the team play the same against Knutsford at home this Saturday then we should be confident of a win.

No doubt Chocky will be retiring again, before he plays next week, I think he just does it for the presents.

----- The Aaron Gore Revelation -----
I’m sorry I can’t let it lie, had I of known that you could nominate yourself ‘Player of the Season’, I would have won ten years in a row. The award night was awkward, as he sat down, then had a look of surprise on his face when Stu Bailey announces his name, genius. “It wasn’t like that” Aaron insists, “I had a clear majority”. Finding out that only five people voted, didn’t convince me. Okay he clearly voted for himself, but who was this other person who voted for him? After some intense investigation, I find out that Sean Muirhead voted for him! Who is this Sean Muirhead? Does he not understand that captains are not to be voted for, it’s a written rule, handed down from captain to captain, Pandora’s box has now been opened, we are all doomed.