We are on the up, what has been the difference you may think? Many have said it’s the leadership change, but I can’t obviously comment on that, however it is strange that the absence of Captain Jack has brought a purple patch to Sefton seconds performance, and a dip in the firsts. Some may even say that Jack playing in the firsts has possibly improved the standard in both teams.

Yet again the captain was absent, and players are starting to think I’m the captain. I’m not, honest, but just like taking the place of an absent parent,, they say “you will always be the captain to me”.

I really didn’t think we could have a better side than last week, but this was a dream team of talent. With Precious, Wayne Osborne, JJ, and Owen Devlin combining to deliver an attacking force, and a back three try scoring combination of Telfer, Muirhead, and McCleery.

In the forwards we were missing a prop however, with Owen Collins having to fill in at tight head, his weight loss over the years didn’t make him the ideal candidate, but he still had the technique. A return to rugby by Harry Bailey also involved a positional change, from wing to flanker. You may recall me mocking Harry (on many occasions) about his ability to tackle. You do know that tackling is a requirement at flanker Harry?

---- The Game ----
The first points went to Sefton early on, when Paddy McCleery came into the line from full back running a perfect line to go through a gap for a try converted by Precious.

Sefton had to be patient for the next score with Leek able to hold Sefton’s backs at bay. However, it was a break from the back of the scrum by JP Ellis that allowed Sefton to make considerable yardage. Finally dragged down like a wildebeest ambushed by lions, the ball was set at the back of the ruck. Last week’s clean shirter, ‘two step’ Pete Johnson cheekily stepped through the middle of the ruck, finding open space in front of him, to go under the posts. This type of rugby is shameful, more akin to Michael Carruthers, than our beloved Pete. You could actually see the shame on his face as he walked back avoiding any eye contact. Precious converted the sinful try.

Another unpopular try scorer was Brian Gardner. Some consistent pressure on Leek’s line allows Gardner to go through on a crash ball. We were going to pay for this all night, as he stands at the bar talking in his very load voice about his ‘long’ journey to the try line. Precious converted.

Leek reply with a try of their own after Sefton switch off. Able to get round the outside, in what had been until now, a solid defensive line.

At the restart Harry Bailey shows his prowess in the air as he takes the ball on the run, and he looked to be going all the way until he was surrounded by defenders. This gave Sefton a great attacking position just inside Leek’s twenty-two, all Sefton had to do was shift it through hands.

---- Kicking Update ----
With no Jay Evans this week, you would have thought I could bypass this feature. This wasn’t to be, with Wayne Osborne wanting to show off his football abilities. Maybe this is acceptable in the firsts, to just give the ball away when your ten metres from the line, with two players outside. His nonchalant grubber kick bounces off the defenders legs and straight into his arms, where he is able to clear it up field.
This blatant disregard for the seconds no kicking rule seemed to give the green light for other to contribute. Ali Telfer who has been going through intensive rehab for his kicking addiction, only needed this small amount of encouragement before he too started kicking himself. It’s like one step forward, two steps back with this lot.

Thankfully, another attacking opportunity presented itself shortly after, with Precious picking up at the back of a ruck, and sneaking over himself for a converted try. Unfortunately, during the build up to the try, Owen Collins gets another injury to his shoulder and has to come off. With his quick release detachable shoulder, he is clear favourite for Man of Glass this season.

Leek manage to get another try back whilst Sefton were defending their line. A ball pops out of a ruck and bobbles over the try line, and everyone stops, thinking it’s a knock on, except for one Leek player who dives on the ball for a converted try.

The last few minutes of the half was spent defending our line, with Matt Patterson producing one of the biggest crunching tackles of the match to keep them out.

Early in the second half both sides struggled to get the upper hand, and the ball was shifted from end to end with no team able to get over the try line. A series of crash balls by Sefton eventually put them within striking distance, and a penalty allowed Precious to kick into the corner. From the lineout a maul took Sefton up to the try line, and it was Precious who shamelessly stole the ball off myself, and grounded the ball.

---- There’s something about Muirhead ----
I can’t believe it, the hapless winger must have caught about six balls whilst racing down his wing (not racing, that sounds like our Sean is fast). Whist plodding down his wing. He didn’t manage to get over the line, but on one occasion he was able to pop it back inside to Paddy McCleery for him to score his second try.
All Sean’s hard work was ruined minutes later when he again got the ball, but was bundled out of touch. Sean didn’t move, holding his leg, claiming he was too injured to carry on. With his dad not there to bully him into getting back on, it was left to his teammates and several of the opposition players to mock his shameful retirement until he succumbed, and hobbled back on.
I must report that after the match he showed me his terrible injury, and there was a ghastly scratch, easily two inches long. How he stayed on is a wonder, he must be very brave.

A final try by Sefton was started by a break by Michael Tansey. With clear space between him and the try line fifty metres away, he must have had a panic attack, and immediately headed straight for the nearest defender so he could fall over them. The ball was taken on, and Ali Telfer receives it on the wing. Resisting the urge to kick it, he takes off down the touch line, only to be caught just short of the try line. An off-loading pass in the tackle is caught by JJ, and he is able to take it over for the try.

In the final action of the game Sefton were besieged by penalties against them, which took them steadily back onto their try line. A valiant defence ensued, but the penalties kept coming, and it was clear they weren’t going to stop till Leek scored, of which they did.

A great performance by the whole team merited the win. Harry Bailey surprised even me at back row, putting tackles in and supporting play, and Luke Griffiths proved invaluable with his ball carries. Paddy McCreary had an outstanding game at full back, and JJ, Owen Devlin, and Kyle Robertson interchanged well in the centres, all orchestrated by Osborne. However, Man of the Match went to Matt Patterson, not just for his huge tackles in defence, but also his ball carrying in attack.

In the changing room after the match Brian Gardner seemed obsessed with Kyle Robinson’s nipple size. I’m not one to notice these things, but even I must admit they are tiny, like a babies. It then struck me, we could easily set up a circus of freaks within the second team. We already have Brian’s hairy back, and Sean’s unproportioned body, Kyle’s tiny nipples would be the icing on the cake, imagine the money we could make.

Next week the seconds are away at Sandbach, players are already dropping out even before their asked. Off now to sign Wayne up to our intensive kicking therapy course.