Sefton RUFC

Christmas Friendly 28/12/2019 Mossley Hill 30 - 27 Sefton

 

Pre-Match

—————

The annual Christmas friendly against Mossley Hill went ahead on Saturday, with both sides managing to persuade enough players to take a break from Christmas festivities.

A credit to the Pauls, Finnigan and Ryan, for their enticing grooming skills!

   

Officiating was seasoned Mossley ref Pete Barnett, who, as usual was well prepared for the barrage of abuse from both sides - think of what James Goulding would be like as a ref.

Pete’s game has not changed in his many years of refereeing, still sticking to the same rules used in the 80’s. Pete was keen to give Jamie Luck his usual yellow card, but, we said, surely he had to wait till the game started?

 

The Match

—————

Unfortunately, with the two stand-off’s in the match, Jay Evans for Sefton and Paul Finnigan for Mossley, always keen to put boot to ball, both teams should be prepared for a kicking game, of the lowest standard.

 

First score came from Sefton, with Jay Evans able to breach their defence in the centres to score a converted try. Sefton’s lead didn’t last long though, with Mossley coming back almost immediately with a converted try of their own, with some poor Sefton tackling to blame.

 

Both sides had further chances, but were unable to convert them to points, with each set of backs influential in the stalemate, with the ball consistently dropped in midfield.

This suited both sets of forwards, who only had to walk a small way to the next scrum.

 

Surprisingly the half ended with no more scores for both teams, and the teams turned around all square.

 

The second half started well for Sefton, with Jay Evans pouncing on a spilt ball and hacking it through to the try line before dropping on it for his second converted try.

 

This is where Mossley suddenly understood the error of their ways. Up until now they were content to smash the ball up the middle, and with Carl Ross not as young and quick as he used to be, this was easily defended.

However, now they targeted our most vulnerable outside wide areas, with Jay Goulding and Chris McCleary both willing to allow Mossley a free run to the try line.

McCleary was keen to display his infamous dodge tackle (not to be confused with Campo’s ‘air tackle’). The dodge tackle requires precise timing and fast reflexes to ensure you move well away from the tackle area beforehand. One misdirected dodge and you could end up actually making contact with the opposition player, and inadvertently making a tackle.

 

With these tactics in place, a slowing Deo Tomlinson shifted Mossley’s focus out wide and they accumulated three easy tries to ease them into a comfortable lead. Paul Murphy got in between the Goulding and McCleary comedy act, proving once again that we aren’t really sure what his best position really is.

 

Sefton’s resolve was not yet defeated, and the comeback came from an unusual place, in the form of Jay Dempsey’s brother Mikey.

With this being Mike Dempsey’s first game since his school days, you would excuse him if he was a little hesitant. After all, it took his brother Jay years to even get his first try at Sefton.

Looking at Jay’s rugby career you would think the Dempsey family Motto would be ‘slow, but steady’. Not so with Mike, taking the ball up as Sefton pounded the Mossley line, this Dempsey had no hesitation in breaking the mould, and went over to score a converted try.

 

A consolation try you might think, but this gave Sefton impetus to go on. Another incursion into the Mossley half, and the pressure on their line brought the desired results.

This time Luke Griffiths was able to go over for a try, again converted by Evans.

Surprisingly to most of the team, this left Sefton with a four-point lead, but with twelve minutes left in the match, it was far from over.

 

A dropped ball by Sefton as they tried to escape their half was the decider. Mossley were quick to seize their chance, and were allowed another cheap try.

 

With three points in the game, and the clock turning red, Sefton had one more roll of the dice. Making quick inroads into the Mossley half, they just needed to keep the pressure on, and Mossley were bound to make a mistake.

It was Campo who crushed Sefton’s hopes taking an easy catchable ball, which bounced off his barrel gut as he went through. With cheers from the opposition, the game was brought to an end.

 

We were left with some unanswered questions within the game, like why isn’t the best Dempsey still playing rugby, and how did Jamie Luck stay on the pitch for the full eighty minutes?

  

Walking Rugby

———————

Walking seemed to be the favourite mode of travel for Sefton’s heavies as they ambled from one part of the pitch to another. A scrum containing Mike Collins, Paddy Arnold and Aaron Gore wouldn’t necessarily be considered ‘mobile’.

Unfortunately, their use was soon reduced when the scrums became uncontested, leaving their only asset (their ample girth), only good for a soft cuddle.

    

Who is Les Maloney

—————————-

It seems Mossley Hill have their own enigmas within the club. Les seems to be an inanimate object, void of any feelings. Despite Lanky’s consistent nudging in the scrum, there wasn’t a flicker of response from the Mossley Prop. Even when Lanky licked his ear, there was no reaction.

The lad is dead from the head down, void of any interaction with the outside world - imagine Richie Lloyd in the front row.

 

The Goulding Time Share Scheme

————————————————

Surely Sefton have done their share of help in the community regarding Jay Goulding.

We have now had him for half a season, it must be Mossley Hill’s turn to share the burden. I don’t think we can take another one of Jay’s self-assessments of his fantastic game.

Fortunately, in the Mossley bar afterwards, there was plenty of lads who’d not yet been exposed to his delusional view of the game, allowing the Sefton team some respite.

  

  

Awkward Moments

—————————

AM01. Gore’s Reputation Proceeds Him.

With Sefton turning up rather top heavy, and Mossley Hill being short of a Prop, they asked if one of our Props could play for them, “until Carl Ross turned up”.

Quick to spot an opportunity, Captain Campo offered the (ever) returning from (constant) injury, Aaron Gore, who is always willing to aid Sefton’s cause.

“But isn’t he your 3rd Team Player of the Year?”, asks Mossley Captain Paul.

“Errrr, yes”, stammers Campo, “thats what is says on the tin”.

So, for the next 10 minutes, until Carl turned up, Sefton had to ignore those questioning, incredulous looks from the Mossley Hill players.

 

AM02. Vicarious Embarrassment for Carl Ross.

So, when Carl Ross did turn up, and lightly trot on for the next scrum, we were all surprised that Paul Finningan sent him straight back off.

Players from both teams shuffled, kicked some dirt, thinking that Carl surely has a couple of more games left in him, and that it is a bit harsh choosing Aaron over him.

((Fear not, squirming readers, for it was Carl himself later that stated that he could not prop, as he has a bad calf. This, of course, left us wondering why some ill offspring would stop you propping).

  

AM03. Deo in Decline.

It doesn’t seem that long ago that we were used to seeing Mossley’s Deo Tomlinson flying around the pitch, too quick to get tackled, finishing games without a hand laid on him.

Today, there was an awkward moment with Deo ‘flying’ down the touchline, with only the try line in front of him.

But wait, he is run down and tackled into touch but a Sefton player.

And, would you believe it, it’s a Sefton second rower!

And worse, his surname is Dempsey (which, when you look up in the dictionary, means “slow, but steady”.

Don’t worry Deo, at least you’ve still got your kicking game…. 

  

AM04. Mossley Hill’s Un-Child Friendly Changies.

Today we were fortunate not to bring any vulnerable boys into the change rooms at Mossley Hill.

For some fuel efficiency reason, they’ve got this “4 minutes of lighting then 1 minute of no lighting” system installed in their Away Changies.

Before the game it wasn’t so bad, with Mike Collin’s florescent socks giving enough glow to get our kid on, but after the game, it wasn’t very comfortable.

I’m not sure if Lanky has been involved in the electrical installation at Mossley Hill, but the lighting system seems to be perfect for someone like him. Him and Kev Mainwaring.

In the showers, Lanky managed to position himself at Shower Head Number 3, between the very muddy Jay Dempsey, and the cherubic Campo.

Lanky bides his 4 minutes well, timing the dropped Shower Gel to perfection. The well mannered Campo got the shock of his life when he went to retrieve it. 

After a very awkward 60 seconds, it wasn’t just the lights that came back on!  

I guess it was just as well that we didn’t play our Virgin Try Scorer, Thomas James this week.

  

Yours in Rugby

Lanky (with a bit of help from Campo) xxxx

  

   

  

  .