Sefton RUFC

Pre-Game

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It was an anxious week for most of us, as there was a lot of uncertainty over whether we were going to play this Fixture. 

There certainly was a lot of trepidation going to a Club that won 120-0 last week!!!

That anxiety was also not helped with the huge expectation of Campo doing a ‘Phillip Schofield’.

 

  

Sean Of The Dead

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This Coronavirus epidemic. It is starting to get really scary.

With Prenton being virtually next door to the Arrowe Park Hospital, where they’ve quarantined all the afflicted, we turned up expecting to see a zombie apocalypse with the Prenton spectators armed with cricket bats and Dire Straits albums.

Luckily the virus is only in its initial stages now, but the spectators were getting a bit twitchie watching our Sean Muirhead wandering around like a one of the undead on the wing for the second half. His constant incomprehensible moaning didn’t help much. 

  

  

The Match

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With Prenton short a Prop, the selfless Aaron Gore sacrifices his Sefton place to don a Prenton shirt. Maybe his thought process was that we would not mock him for his new bright fluorescent orange boots (or as we call them, his walking shoes). He was sadly mistaken.

But this meant he could go head to head in the scrums with his idol, Mike Collins. 

  

Most of us have often wondered what would happen when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

Well, this wasn’t even close, with an 80 minute Mexican standoff, between the 2 immovable objects.

    

The game was tighter than the score suggests, with some late tries by Sefton, one from long range for the improving Farice after a strong run by the determined Adam Hunter. 

Some strong runs by Griffiths, Dempsey, and Yacob made the difference in this game, however for his overall impact on the game, Man of the Match went to the young colt, Farice.  

  

---- Punch-o-meter ----

Our young scrum half Tom James always manages to upset someone. He may even be the new Princess sHamling, with opposition players lining up to punch him. This week Tom upset several players, with one taking exception to his face. Our Mike Dempsey was not too pleased with this, and proceeded to chase the Prenton offender around the pitch, reminiscent of a Benny Hill sketch. After a period of chest puffing and strutting, everything calmed down and the Prenton player gets a red card for his punch, whilst Mike Dempsey luckily walks away without reprimand despite his determination to fight someone.

   

The following penalty allowed Brian Gardner his moment of glory when he carried the ball into contact and crashes over the try line with a little push from his teammates. Collins again converts the try.

—- Who is Sean Muirhead? —-

At half time it is still a bit heated, and Sean makes his feelings known by having a shouting match with the Prenton player standing on the side line after he is sent off. Sean does this whilst hiding behind Mark Dobie for protection. I think I even heard him say, “hold me back Dobie” as he stood in in the middle of the pitch, as far away from potential danger as possible. The only reason we didn’t send him off was because he had yet to complete his two successful catches for the game.

  

   

World Record Slowest Try

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In hindsight, once Blandie got the ball on the halfway line, we could’ve rung someone from Guinness and they’d’ve made it to Prenton by the time Blandie meandered to the 22 before passing to Lanky.

Then, it was like time going backwards, as Lanky slow-mo’d it to the tryline. 

Unofficially, it was timed at 23 seconds.

Officially, it was Lanky’s first and only ever try in his 50 short years. 

  

   

Kicking

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Actually, there was very little to moan about really. Mike Collins actually stepped up to the mark, and nailed everything. 

Of course we will let him off his usual, first penalty kick for touch “tester”...

Indeed, we all knew there was a howling right to left gale as soon as we got there, having to lean hard to the right just to stand still! But Mike, maybe it’s a credit to his “solidity”, clearly was unaware of the force 8 wind. Once his first kick for touch sailed further infield then where he started, he had it worked out. 

Amazingly, Mike kicked all his conversions, and even Brendo knocked one over from in front!

Sadly, Aaron let the team down, falling desperately short in his effort from the sideline, into the teeth of the gale. 

   

As for the opposition’s kicking, it was based mainly on their 2nd half strategy, targeting our weakness. 

Whenever their young ginger 9 got the ball, the whole team yelled, “Kick it to Brendo, kick it to Brendo”.

This allowed Prenton easy yards and the inevitable scrum feed.

   

   

Impressive Tackle

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Gotta keep talking of the incredibly mobile Mikey again. Today he pulled of an incredible try saver that turned the match.

   

Brendo’s Tackle of the Season.

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Not sure if we’ve had this already this season, but yes, Brendo made a tackle today. 

His season Tackle. 

(Don’t worry if he’s already made a tackle earlier this season, he’s still in the red from previous seasons).

Great to see that Brendo has adapted to the new tackle rules, he is going less high now. His ‘piggy back’ technique worked ok today, with the Prenton winger running out of puff after 20 metres. 

    

Chris’ Tackle of the Century

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Amazingly, Chris McCleary made both his heavily overdue tackle for the 1900s today, AND THEN his 21st Century Tackle. 

Unfortunately, his first tackle would have been legal 30 years ago, back in the good of’ days when you could coathanger players, but the ref rightly penalised Chris’ stiff arm effort. 

Impressively, Chris’ second tackle was around the legs, of a Prenton player who actually still had the ball. 

  

  

Defining Moment

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With Prenton losing a couple of players to injury and anger, Blandie generously offered his counterpart a player, to even things up, “take your pick of our wingers and fullback”.

The Prenton Captain cast an appraising eye over McCleary, Brendo and Sean Muirhead before quickly saying, “thanks, but I think we’ll be right. As long as you keep those 3 playing for Sefton”.

   

   

Injuries

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Alas, Brendo broke his finger today. In a bizarre moment, while he was pointing at a plane, having ignored the “Kick it to Brendo” warning shout, the ball landed not so gingerly on poor Brendo’s outstretched finger. 

(Worry not, dear reader, Brendo’s new girl friend can give him one of hers. She’s from Birkenhead).

  

  

Summation

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There are only three sure things in the Sefton third team:

Jay Golding will always claim he’s had a great game, Brendon will break something, and Chris McCleary will do his best to avoid a tackle.

Today, even though he wasn’t playing, Goulding will no doubt spend the week telling someone of his match winningness, Brendo will be ordering another Victoria Cross, and McCleary will be looking for a position beyond the touchline.

   

  

NB. Thanks to a cameo journalist appearance from Lanky in this Report today. His is the boring stuff!

Campo  xx

   

   

   

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