Sefton RUFC

Sat 11 Sep 2021

Sefton 3rd XV

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Ormskirk 3rd XV

Sefton 3rd XV

Ormskirk 3rd XV

Pre-Match

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A crazy 24 hour period leading up to this game.

The first team were struggling for a prop, and the knock on effect meant that the 3rd team would be subsequently be struggling for a prop. Late Friday night there was a period when the Merseyside air waves were officially broken. Such was the volume of text messages floating around from Sefton seniority who can’t read previous texts about availability and needed to add their 2 pence.

Once again, we were saved by our bleached, svelte, florescent boot flavoured Brummie. (Thanks Mike, we wouldn’t have contested today without you!).

The Warm Up

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With a full compliment of players to choose from (15 starting, and 5 subs), there was always going to be some confusion with the starting line up. Everyone fully understood Captain Campo’s faltering, when naming the starting team, managing to forget his own name at fullback. There was just too many players – something the 3s rarely have to deal with.

The players knew that Campo puts the team before himself, and it was not surprising that there was some stumbling with names. It wasn’t a senior moment though.

The Match

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All 6 tries were scored at one end. Sefton in the first half, Ormskirk in the second.

Ormskirk propably would’ve snatched it if the game continued, but the ref was obviously thinking of his after-game refreshments, and blew the final whistle appropriately.

Some good rugby though, competitive and tight. Good to see Owen Devlinback – any thoughts that his devastatingness would have disappeared with the loss of his tremendous buttocks were quickly dispelled. He is only half the man we knew.

The Turning Point

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With JP Ellis turning up with a man bun (just who does he think he is? Brendo??) it was understandable that he was not going to figure predominately in this game. This game that is dominated by short haired men.

To underline his ineffectiveness, JP had an early try disallowed, after running through unchallenged (see – even the Ormskirk team couldn’t take him seriously!), and ‘scoring’ under the posts. The Referee (short back and sides of course) brings back play for an Ormskirk scrum, stating, “I’m sorry, I think some of your hair was over the dead ball line”.

Well, JP decided to prove us wrong, and it only took a fraction of a second....

Ormskirk were based in the Sefton quarter, for about 10 minutes, phase after phase of relentless hammering on our line.

They kick through, and Sefton knock on.

From the ensuing 5 metre scrum to Ormskirk, they quickly pass it to their bullocking centre, who has scored all the Ormskirk tries so far, and has yet to be tackled.

As he is storming towards the quivering Sefton fullback (who shall remain nameless), from right field, a blur zapped across and stopped the centre in his tracks! It was JP, knocking the wind, and the ball from the stunned surprised) Ormskirkian.

It was like something from Superman, only I’m pretty sure JP was wearing his underwear on the inside.

Suffice to say, Ormskirk did not score and Sefton clung on to win.

Kicking

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Today, we were lucky to watch the grace and fluidity of the Ormskirk fullback (who knew that fullbacks could be like that?).

Such was his wonder, that most of the Sefton team were queuing up to kick the ball to him, and then watch, as he glided through the Sefton jagged defensive line, teasing and taunting us with his come-hither running, until his fluidity runs out of juice.

Everyone had a go. Jamie, Gorgeous, Bland (prides himself on finding his man), even Ben Webster I think. The only one who didn’t get in on the act was Brendo of course (and Goulding, maybe).

Action Area Avoidance

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Good ol’ Brendo is doing his thing for the Club.

Well, he thinks he’s doing us a favour. No one has the heart to tell him that the laundry charges us by the Team, not the number of individual shirts. But then again, he doesn’t need to use the showers I guess.

We were lucky Ormskirk only cottoned onto Brendo’s wing in the second half, to score their 3 tries. If their Capatin Gareth could catch, it could’ve got really ugly down our left side.

New Season, New Rules

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Its been a while since we’ve had to welcome Referee John at Sefton, but we were all smiles today, before and after the game.

John is from the old school of course. Bristling about in his traditional yellow international shirt, not taking any lip, ignoring emails, and generally allowing the game to continue.

The experienced Ormskirk pack worked hard on the ground in the rucks, and Sefton felt they were playing a team of Andy Walsh’s!

In contrast, there was one of the new breed running a touchline. (You won’t catch John wearing one of those bright pink shirts!).

And, the insolence of it all, during the game, the touch judge runs on to explain one of the new rules regarding being held up in goal. Poor John was beside himself with apoplexy! The brattish touch judge quickly turned heel when John started reaching for his Cards….

After the game, the pink shirt approached a Bitter nursing John, audaciously asking, “are you familiar with the 4 or 5 new rules this season sir?”. There was a stunned silence. But a quick thinking John smartly quelled any potential conflict with his rapid retort: “There’s new rules?”.

Joking aside, we were grateful for John’s whistle work today, we could do with more like him. There are Referees nowadays that are happy to down a pie and a few beers afterwards even when the visiting team have been victorious!

Jamie’s Luck

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Surely, we thought, in this second game of the season, Jamie is finally going to see yellow!!!

But no. Perhaps the responsiblitiy of being the father of 6, a head teacher, and a proud Welshman is finally sinking in? Perhaps it is dawning that it really is a team game? Can Celine Dion and Adele be sinking in?

More likely, Sefton will have a pink shirted referee next game and Jamie’ll will be back to his normal 10 minute rest.

Goulding’s Ghost

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I know I may have suffered a senior moment before the game, but I’m pretty sure there was NO James Goulding on my teamsheet. And, I am certain, there was NO James Goulding that played on the pitch today!

But, can anyone tell me this? How did Golding manage to materialise immediately after the game and try to brainwash us with “his tackle”? No, I am not talking meat and 2 veg. The spirited Goulding was adamant that he made a tackle today. An effective tackle.

No one was having it though, we are going to have to borrow the Ladies’ new Video Camera to prove Goulding’s delusions with defence.

Next Week

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No game for the 3s next week – please use the week wisely, organising any childrens birthday or funerals.

No doubt the 2s will be after some of us, for their fodder.