Sefton RUFC

Pre-Match

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It was with some trepidation that we took the long journey to Christleton.

A journey made longer by the League posting an incorrect Christleton address on their webshite.

Admittedly, we weren’t in the greatest hurry, taking 10 men to the undefeated league leaders.

We’d heard rumours that Christleton had some tasty Fijians in their squad and the thought of playing 7s today was not arousing.

We did managed to formulate yet another Sefton 3rd Team “Keep the Score Down / Time Wasting” Strategy...

At the restart, make sure the ball goes straight out, or doesn’t go 10 metres. The resultant scrum will take lots longer than it will for the opposition to catch a proper kick off and run into our half.

The Warm Up

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Arriving about 5 minutes before kick off was not the best for a warm up, but neither was the horizontal rain in the sub zero temperatures.

The only good thing was that, in these Baltic conditions, there was no sign of the Fijians.

The Hospitality

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Gotta give full credit to Christleton, to lend us 3 players. Their Captain and Fixture Secretary Matt were generous hosts. One of the players was older than me (I think he’s slept a lot of years. On the sun bed!).

The Game

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Amazingly, when the ref blew the whistle, these 3 Fijian lads jumped out of their warm cars and sprinted onto the pitch!!

Although not really in their element, they looked right at home with the open spaces and low player numbers.

The Christleton objective was pretty obvious: give it to the Fijians and watch them score runaway tries.

With the strong wind, Sefton used most of the first half to work on their “air” tackling.

In the bitter conditions, Christleton thought that scrums were the best way to keep warm.

Basically they were either scoring or knocking on.

Mind you, it is very difficult to catch the ball with your hands firmly wedged under your armpits.

Sefton were fortunate that the scrums were uncontested so we did have a lot of ball.

With a lot of ball, and not many players, it was inevitable that Action Avoidance Brendo was gunna end up with the ball at some point.

Amazingly though, on the 2 occasions Brendo didn’t manage to run away from an errant pass, he took the ball up, got tackled, presented and we recycled. It’s like he’s been watching us do this all this time....

The Turning Point

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The ref today, Neil, finally took pity on us, not seeing a massive knock on which allowed Sefton to score their first try.

Admittedly, being down 45 nil at half time would have given Neil a tear in his eye, but that couldn’t have blurred a very clear knock on.

No, it was pity. But it gave Sefton hope, and we went on to win the second half 17-16. That’s the most important half.

Our Little Nemo

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You may have read in the last few Match Reports, of a not so young man called JP McDonald.

Clearly his calling in life is either selling hamburgers or having a farm, but he sees himself as a rugby player.

We see him as a work in progress.

People talk about a learning curve. A line that tends to eventually veer upwards.

JP is flat lining.

Although insisting that he has played rugby when he was younger, we have to assume that JP has probably had a very bad knock at some stage. A memory, and playing style, like a goldfish.

Mind you, he was “taught” in Spain. A country better known for its petulant diving soccer players.

But today, we saw something to give us hope. A chink perhaps, in JP’s learning armour.

Similar to Brendo, and front rowers, JP unwittingly found himself with the ball. He actually run forwards, with a very subtle Goulding-esque veer, and made about 10 metres before blindly casting the ball in a backwards direction (clearly violating a number of Sefton 3rd Team Strategies).

Maybe, just maybe, there is a chance...

To his credit though, JP is progressing very well, as a rugby player, in the bar

 For the measly cost of the odd pint, he is getting excellent guidance and tuition from us experienced players. He will need specialist “Volume and Fabrication” Training (from either Christian, Brian or Goulding), but it’s getting nice and ugly.

Walk of Shame

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Did I mention the generosity of our hosts today?

Special thanks to Fixture Secretary Matt today, going that little bit further to make us feel welcome...

With Christleton clearly running away with the game, one of their players decides on a bit of flair, with a little chip over the top.

Matt sprints through to the vacant Sefton fullback area, receiving a gift bounce which has him running away unopposed to the try line.

60, 70 metres, only 10 to go. The Sefton team is already lining up on the half way line, ready for the restart.

But then Fixture Secretary Matt loses the ball. It is knocked forward.

Poor Matt has to go and pick it up, and have the long lonely walk back to the naughty step, through the jeers and taunts of his team mates, and me.

I imagine his only thought was that his team had already scored 7 unanswered tries, and he should look after the opposition by not scoring.

I know for certain that our Fixture Secretary Lanky has the same attitude.

Perhaps they should stick with what they’re good at: Fixture Secretarying.

Kicking Update

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Unfortunately, we get too many one-off players in the 3s. Players who are unaware of the Sefton 3rd Team Kicking Strategy.

Today we have big Sam Gallear, an out of condition prop trying to get some match fatness.

He’s playing outside centre.

He sees lots of empty spaces.

He’s played a lot with Jay Evo.

So, in a free flowing game where possession is king, big Sam takes it upon himself for a mid field bomb.

Without telling anyone, of course. Especially Brendo who was lurking very deeply on the outside wing.

Unsurprisingly, the ball is well fielded by a well heeled Fijian who scored a well deserved try.

We are all let wondering why forwards, especially prop forwards, think they are number 10s.

Mind you, it’s our fault really, we all know the Sefton 3rd Team Prop Handling Strategy.

Irish Students

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This lot from Ireland (can you say that now?), I gotta hand it to them. Especially the students.

Obviously, they have to drink a lot, being Irish. But with no income, they are also have to be very cunning...

Take Ali Mac today. As Irish as they come. He needs a translator.

He desperately plays out of his skin, so he can get the Man of the Match award, knowing full well that there’s a free pint involved (a very fast free pint, which he drinks very slowly).

And talk about pace. In the Christleton bar, with the free ale in abundance, we get to see how quick Ali is over 5 metres. Blistering.

Back at Sefton, Ali endures the company of us old farts, who have no idea of who even bought the last round!

Very resourceful. Timely exit.

Who is Seam Muirhead?

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Better still, where is Sean Muirhead?

Our Sean is clearly up for the warmer temperatures, today he was a shrivelled wreck of his former self. 

Summation

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Another tough day in the office for Sefton.

We learnt a lot about the fortitude of the 1st and 3rd Teams, both with away Fixtures to league leaders.

As for the poor 2nds, some of them will probably never perform certain bodily functions properly ever again.

The 3s will take heart though, you are only as good as the last half you’ve played...

Yours, Campo x