Wed 23 Nov 2022 18:54

Sat 12 Nov 2022

Sefton RUFC
Merseyside Police R.U.F.C.

The Drain

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As usual, Lanky delays naming his 2s side until the last minute, we are thinking we will have 11 players today.

We are fortunate our generous neighbours West Park have no game and send down 3 lads, Kyle, Shaun and AJ.

Our of the blue, 2 new guys also turn up, Richard and another AJ. And they’re both props!!

We can’t believe our luck, as Lanky has stolen our winger Matty, to give him his 2nd Team debut at Prop, against rampaging Littleborough!!!

Brian Gardner has come out of the woodwork to bravely fill Matty’s wing position. He ain’t propping anymore.

   

  

The Match

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The Police had some very good runners today, but then again, in the West Park lads, so did Sefton.

The big difference today was defence.

The Police were very solid and Sefton were poor, with Captain Campo being the chief culprit.

   

  

Blandie and The YouTube

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I am not sure how, but Blandie, with all his spare time as a male junior school teacher, has got onto YouTube, and is looking up

‘Playing 10 at Rugby’.

Now, its never too late to learn, but I really think Blandie should be searching, ‘An Introduction to Playing 10 in Rugby’, or even, ‘How to throw a rugby pass’.

This week, Blandie is trying out ‘The No Look Pass’. He’s probably seen Smith or Farrell doing this.

The No Look Pass, as you well know, involves a lot of practice, accuracy, timing and trust.

For the 2 West Park boys playing centre, Kyle and AJ, who are unaware of Blandie’s intentions, not many of the No Look Pass pre-requisites exist.

So, many times during the game, we have Blindie looking one way, the ball going the other way, and poor Kyle and AJ having to turn around and dive on a loose ball that is behind them.

At international level, it may well be classed as “The No Look Pass”, but at the lowest level it is known as “The Shovel of Shit”

   

  

What is it with the Welsh?

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Once again, I am agast.

I wonder, how can a respectable, mature, Head Teacher turn so quickly when he crosses that white line??

I look back at my first ever Match Report, from 07/09/2013 (Sefton 3s 0-26 Police)…..

“Also, a rare run out for the former first team captain, Jamie Luck, who, although well past his prime, doesn't go out there to make friends!”

Today, over 9 years on, nothing has changed. It’s a simple Cut and Paste.

(Actually, a lot has changed: Jamie is much further from his prime *).

One thinks Jamie should speak to his fellow countryman, ex-Anger Management Gez, about “crossing over that angry bridge and getting to the Friendship Shore”.

* Prime. Does anyone remember Jamie ever this?

 

    

The Try

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Sefton didn’t have much to celebrate today, but one of the 2 tries is worth mentioning.

Worth mentioning, because it is probably something we’ll never witness again.

A try from Brian Gardner.

It was a thing of beauty.

The lead up, from West Park Sean, bouncing his way into the immovable Police defence, with Brian about 3 seconds behind him, shouting, “on your shoulder, on your shoulder”.

And the slipped pass. Perfection.

Brian’s oft fantasized, “slowly placed on a silver platter, with a red ribbon tied around it” was a reality.

Suffice to say, Brian gaily snatched it up and fell over the try line.

We are yet to hear the end of it….

    

  

Sublime and the Ridiculous

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Today, we were witness to something never seen before.

Both Goulding and Brendo played well.

Goulding, at fullback, was like a rock.

All game, as the Police scissored through the paper-like Campo, there was Goulding, fearlessly halting the onslaught.

He must’ve stopped about 5 tries.

Similarly, Brendo was on fire in defence.

2 or 3 times Brendo was questioned by the Police outside backs, and boy did he answer.

On one occasion, Brendo tackles the centre, then their winger straight after.

At the ruck, Brendo is like a man possessed, he scatters the Police ruck and picks up the ball in a turnover!!

  

But, for every up, there is a down.

The Police quickly worked out why Goulding is ironically called ‘Catchy’, and Brendo has a phobia against rugby balls.

The Police 10 mercilessly targeted the gap between the Sefton wing and fullback.

The crowd were often stunned to hear both the Sefton wing and fullback shout in unison, “YOURS!!”.

   

  

Prognosis

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Great fun today, gotta hand it to the Police, they have a good young side.

TF we had the West Park ringers, otherwise it could’ve got ugly. Thanks to their captain, Ro, for his generousity.

Also good to see some new players at Sefton, props AJ and Richard. Hopefully they will hang around and bring some good players along.

 

   

Yours, etc

Campo

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