Sefton RUFC

The Numbers

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The Team Sheet was not aided by the 1s “Tuesday Team vs Actual Team” turmoil.

Captain Christian proved not so Christian, dangling his delious prop, Kev Mainwaring, in our faces on Tuesday, only to snatch him back on Saturday morning.

Admittedly, there were a a collective sigh of relief from some of the younger players.

Tebbsy didn’t help, with his Saturday morning, “Sorry, I forgot I am in Sweden”.

Hawksford has got to realise that you need more than 1 week after getting brain damage.

One day, I aim to distribute a Team Sheet at least a couple of days before kick off.

Sefton turn up with 3 extra players, Waterloo are a couple short, so I generously go and play for Waterloo.

 

   

The Match

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The game was won in the forwards.

With Waterloo down a player, a delicate hooker and 2 novices in the second row, the Sefton tight 5 of Matty Faulkner, Lanky, big ‘Richard’, Dobie and Paddy Arnold had a fine old time in the scrums.

And with the odd shaped Waterloo balls, Sefton won 90% of all the lineouts.

(admittedly, Sefton did have Dobie and prop Paddy Arnold in the second row, against 2 novices for Waterloo).

So, with all of the ball, Sefton manage to scrape over the line.

  

  

The First Turning Point

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Sefton run away to a big lead in the first half.

The second half gets underway, and Brian Gardner has come on.

This coincides exactly with Waterloo running in an absolute plethora of tries.

The one sided game goes on, until Waterloo have a rather large lead.

   

The Second Turning Point

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With Waterloo seemingly having an unassailable lead, off sails Brain Gardner.

He’s had enough standing under his own posts and getting cold.

This coincides with Sefton scoring some tries, and narrowly winning.

   

  

The Fox in the Hen House

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I’m not sure what it is, but I feel really comfortable playing alongside the old, slow Waterloo players.

Old Captain Swainy is nice to me, and they let me play where I want

Today, it must be said, wasn’t my finest, with some regrettable actions that I know Waterloo will have forgotten by next season:

A1. 3 straight penalty infringments in the ruck.

A2. Regular missed tackles – especially on Sefton’s 10, JJ (this was the ONLY way to make him look good).

A3. Consistent losing lineout throws.

A4. Poor hooking in the scrums.

Suffice to say, I was welcome back in the Sefton changies after the game, with first dibs in Lanky’s blue clinky bag.

   

  

Blandie and The YouTube

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It looks like Blandie finally succumbed to Jamie Luck’s persistent, “Look up the Wales v All Blacks from ‘72” vitriolic diatribe.

For this week, Blandie decided to try out “The Forearm”.

All well and good, you might say, against Waterloo, who took us to the cleaners at Sefton earlier this season.

But not well and good if it’s me that’s tackling him!

Nursing a fat lip, the ref rubs further salt into my womb, by penalising me for a high tackle!!

For some reason, I’ve got this awful premonition that Blandie will have a terrible skiing accident on his (primary) school trip in March….

    

  

The Throwing of the Game

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I read recently of a method Everton would employ at training.

They would play a ‘game’ against no one, in an attempt to get some combinations / set pieces working.

One night, for some strange reason, they tried some back passing, and the ball ended up in their own net, as the keeper was sorting out something behind the net.

They were down nil-1 playing against no one!

Today, we had Waterloo doing something similar.

It was unclear whether they wanted to be the perfect hosts, or the top of the table was being considered, but Waterloo were definitely NOT winning this game today.

The game was evenly poised (we were still in “The First Turning Point” of the match).

Waterloo were storming back, a win was clearly in their grasp.

The gargantuan balding, grey bearded prop, Paul, storms onto a perfectly popped pass.

He is 2 metres out, Louis is no where to be seen (a number of Sefton players had discreetly stepped aside).

No one in front except the try line…

Paul ‘fumbles’, and the ball is lost.

The match is lost. Waterloo promotion fades away again.  

   

   

The Rainbow Pass from Heaven

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There was a point in the game, where it was deemed safe enough to bring on Chris McCleary.

The ref had basically said, ‘this is the last play of the day’.

Sefton had just scored and Waterloo restarted with a deep kick.

Chris, who I feel has a decent appreciation of fair play and justice, calmly lets the ball bounce around and stop, before cautiously picking it up.

The Waterloo pack is bearing down on him, feeling they still have a chance (all except the bald grey bearded one).

Chris, who I also feel has a very good sense of timing, waits patiently, before throwing a high parbabollock pass to the unsuspecting Blandie nearby.

An unsuspecting Blandie, and a very determined set of Waterloo forwards.

Blandie has no choice but to reach up for the ball, thus exposing his very soft underbelly, ribs and man gunt.

The Waterloo forwards end up with a grin that would match Borat’s brother Bilo after, “he gets this”.

I think this is one of the tackles I was actually involved in today.

   

  

Jug Evasion

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Special mention here, of the ‘heroics’ of young Harry Osborne on the Sefton wing…

Harry only made himself available after hearing of the late withdrawal of Kev Mainwaring, but happily turns up and expects to start on the wing. (His mother Laura is watching, and I don’t want her to get angry).

Harry gets lucky during the game, a number of silver platter passes, close to the line, no defenders, etc…

He scores 3 tries (against an aging, depleted, slow, promotion avoiding Waterloo side).

Happy days, think the Sefton players: 3 tries = 1 Jug of beer.

It is only at the final whistle do we fully appreciate the speed of young Harry.

We will never know the reason why we all nearly died of thirst after the game.

Surely 1 jug couldn’t break the Osborne weekly allowance?

Maybe it was the thought of a nice warm car idling on the sideline (Laura braved the elements till the kick off).

Some would say that Harry’s father should honour the 3 Try tradition (because there is no such thing as a bad child…).

   

  

Prognosis

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Great fun today, a close game in the end.

Good to see a number of positive and not so positive things:

P1. Someone trying to dive on a loose ball (although Brendo’s floundering crawl after the retreating ball did make me consider putting him out of his misery).

N1. Poor little Matty Williams at outside centre. He was never gunna be fed anything today, outside JJ and James I’ll-cut-back-into-the-forwards Hamling. Something tells me Matty won’t starve though.

P2. New starter, Chris Lewis, who took to the field with relish, ran round in lots of circles and somehow managed to get involved. Chris was Player of the Match today, with Parnell beside herself, trying to get him away after the final whistle.

P3. Young Louis on the wing. Showing lots of enthusiasm and setting the mark for the Tackle of the Season, bringing down the bald grey bearded prop whilst in full flight.

N2. Worryingly, Richard spent a lot of the game lying on the ground. He must have thought he was Lanky.

Thanks again for the Waterloo team for a competitive, friendly game, as well as the 2 rather large jugs of beer afterwards.

  

Yours etc

Campo