Sefton RUFC

It’s About the Journey

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As usual, the 2s had no players for their game this week.

They had even less this week because they were playing at Littleborough (which is where Lanky takes his family for holidays, to feel normal for a while).

As well, Lanky takes the cream * of the 3s players.

This includes Goulding, Brendo and Matty Williams. 

  

* As reported each week by the 3s Captain at Tuesday Selection Meetings.

   

  

The 3s Team

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We’d done well to get rid of the chaff, which rose to the 2s, and were left with a pretty decent team.

Ok, we only had 13, but these are guys you’d want in your corner.

We welcomed back a tremendously unfit Mikey Dempsey, an amazingly unaware JP McDonald, an incredibly fragile Steve Teale and a supremely boastful Steve Alcock.

   

  

Involvement, Commitment, and Jamie Luck

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This week, Jamie decides to surprise us all, dragging himself from his alleged Covid sickbed, to fill the number 9 shirt.

Are there any words to describe such commitment and devotion?

If there were, the description would probably say: “See Jamie Luck”.

It would also probably be written in soft lead pencil.

  

  

The Game Plan

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Lose the toss, run downhill in the first half and rack up an uncatchable score. Then lock up shop in the second half.

   

  

The Match

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Basically, the Police had these 2 wingers, who’d greased themselves up before the game.

It meant that Sefton couldn’t stop these guys, and they scored all the tries. 

They were the main difference between the 2 teams today. Them, and quite possibly the tackling ability.

   

  

Injuries / The Turning Point

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In the second half, Steve Teale took a stray boot in the face and had to go off for 15 minutes for the bleeding to stop.

At this stage, it was pretty obvious which way the game was going, and the Police decided to lend us their shittest player, Josh, who was swinging his legs on their bench.

They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and we quickly found out that Josh played like a gem!

He may have been the Police’s worst player, but he definitely was Sefton’s best, and it was fitting that he scored our only try.

Steve Alcock got a hurty arm but soldiered on. He’ll live to tell the tale, but it may be another few years lost to injury.

Jay Spencer got a stinger, but nothing could damp his enthusiasm. He counts his lucky stars every day. Goulding is not one of them.

  

  

Thumbs Up

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Great to see Sefton old boy Andy Barnes back out on the pitch again.

Greater still, to see Andy playing in a Police shirt.

It seems Andy (or as they call him, “Captain Obvious”) has slotted in very well, and managed a cheeky crawling try that will echo over the Mersey for some time.

   

  

Prognosis

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Not much to write about today, the Sefton defence was pretty poor, as was our handling.

The scrums were worth mentioning, with a fairly understrength 7 man pack generally holding their own. Particularly uphill in the second half.

   

Yours

Campo

  

 

   

******. REVIVED SECTION ******

 

Seftons Mystery Reporter: "Probing areas that don't like Probes".

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It has been a long while, but I found an anonymous, unsigned, envelope under my door this week.

It appears to be from Sefton's Mystery Reporter!

Note: Sefton's Mystery Reporter does confidential interviews revealing serious stuff, without mentioning the Reporter’s name.

It's like exclusive, but reportedly unconfirmed.

This week the unknown probe-ster seeks to expose the pink bits of none other than the 3s stalwart, Mark Dobie.

   

SMR: Greetings Mark, thanks for agreeing to the interview in this very public place today.

People know that I am with you now, by the way.

You have been coming to Sefton for many years now, how old are you?

MD: I’m actually only just in my 40s.

   

SMR: Really!!! But you talk of the Dark Side days, those guys are well into their 60s. That’s where I’d place you. Maybe late 50s…

MD: Haha, no.

   

SMR: I see you’ve taken a few knocks, that could affect your memory, forgetting 10 years is understandable I guess. Didn’t Campo even knock you out recently?

MD: No, I don’t remember that. It mustn’t’ve happened.

   

SMR: So, then, since starting at age “12” in the Dark Side, decades ago, no one knows anything about you.

MD: I’m a family man essentially. There are children and things involved I think.

   

SMR: Ah yes, we’ve heard about “our James”, and “our David”, but they are so random. You sure you don’t run a small Motel with you reclusive, “ill” mother??

MD: No, I don’t think so.

   

SMR: Like, with a bath and a plastic shower curtain, with hooks?

MD: We replaced that curtain.

   

SMR: We are well aware of your ‘family man’ reputation, you seem to have an awful number of nieces, who have birthday parties when the 3s have Away games.

MD: Yes, yes. I can’t travel away when I have to be back for the family function like. They want me to come early.

   

SMR: Well, You do seem to have an incredible amount of toys. You’ve developed a proficiency at throwing them too, “out of the pram”, you might say.

MD: Listen lad, you gotta admit that the standard of refereeing that we have to put up with each week – well, I don’t think it could get much worse.

   

SMR: I guess that probably has something to do with the standard of rugby you play – Sefton 3s are floundering in the lowest league possible.

MD: That’s rubbish! I’ve played ‘up’ in the 2s and they’ve a shitter team than the mighty 3s.

   

SMR: On the pitch, there’s a bit of Alan Harper about you, his bark was worse than his bite, you clearly concentrate on the technical side of the game.

MD: My main priority is the scrum. Being a specialist second row means one thing for me, and that means pushing. Forget everything else, line out lifting, tackling, ball carrying. I’m a pusher.

   

SMR: A pusher? This leads on to my next question. What do you do for a living, you seem to always have to get off straight after the game, “for work”?

MD: Yes, work means everything to me. Being in distribution, Saturday evenings are a busy time for me, especially in Liverpool.

   

SMR: Watching you play rugby, it’s clear that you are very keen on soccer. We’ve heard you talk about Liverpool, when they do well.

MD: Ah yes, I devote myself to the LFC. Stevie G and Kenny are playing so well now.

   

SMR: We are seeing a lot of young players coming into the senior teams now, but there seems to be a general avoidance of the second row, clearly you’re having some “influence”.

MD: I’ve always ensured there’s an opening for these kids. I don’t recall any allegations, and they haven’t been proven.

   

SMR: Well it was nice to get to know you Dobie, you seem to be a very busy person.

Thanks very much for your time - I’ll let myself out - there’s someone waiting for me - they know who I’m interviewing and where I am right now.